Why can’t I break up with my girlfriend? M(17) F(16)
Me and my girlfriend have been drifting away from each other for some time and the thought of breaking up has been on my mind for months. I love her and have nothing but respect for her but I feel like we should go our separate ways and ride the path we’ve been looking for. I am her first boyfriend and every time she makes a mistake, she tells me that I’m her first and she doesn’t know better; which is understandable. There have been many red flags but I can’t seem to shake them since I’m so attached and detached at the same time.
the mistakes that take place almost every week only diminish our relationship. I often find myself apologizing for her mistakes and she hasn’t quite seen me show her the consequences for her actions. I try talking things out to at least attempt to grow but it’s like she flips the script on me and tries to show me how her mistake was her fault; like she only did it because I wasn’t there to stop her. If she realizes she’s sorry, I’d go on a couple lines of text to try and communicate through it but she ends up blatantly making me feel bad or reading my long text and saying “sorry” or “ok”
I’ve been with her for 11 and a half months but only a couple months ago did I feel this way. I’m bad at saying no, so when I do, I can only feel like I’ve inconvenienced her just because I couldn’t do something.
Ex:
Me – “Hey, I can’t make that reservation, I don’t have enough money”
Her – “I mean that gift was the same price of the reservation”
Me – “I know, I told you I didn’t have enough money to get you a lot before you got me my gift”
Her – “um, okay well I have a friend over I’ll see you later”
She knows I don’t have a lot of money and this reservation Was cash deep, I feel terrible for not being able to provide but I also feel like she should expect less because she makes a l more money than I do. I’ve lost interest due to the multiple cases of pushback and I can only feel like being alone. The problem with this being I spent all my time with my girlfriend that I no longer have friends or a circle to help me through my time. If I lose her then I lose the last thing I have, I hate being alone, I couldn’t imagine what I’d be like if I lost my last person. She does mean the world to me and I do stil have the love for her, but it’s not the love for a relationship.
TL;DR I am no longer interested in being with my girlfriend after a build up of red flags throughout our relationship