Hi I’m 30m
I’ve gone on a couple dates and have slept 2 times with this girl f26 I met about 2 months ago. We’ll call her nicky She’s really cool from the very start I told her I did not want anything serious. She said she was cool and just having sex was fine with her. I’ve gone days sometimes a week or 2 without hitting her up. I’ll usually see her on the weekend when all of our friends hang out. But the thing is that I know she really likes me and has caught feelings.
The whole time I have been talking and seeing somebody else as well she’s 31f sarah.
I’ve told both of them that I don’t want anything serious I don’t want a relationship and I don’t know what I want. They’ve both said that was fine but still I know both have caught feelings for me.
I hadn’t slept with sarah I had just seen her talk to her made out with her etc.
2 days ago I had sex with Sarah it was a really quick sex I didn’t even enjoy it. Whole time I kept thinking of Nicky. I hadn’t talked to Nicky in probably 2-3 weeks at this point.
Idk why but after having sex with Sarah I realized I’ve caught feelings for Nicky. I saw Nicky today and I feel awful. I don’t know what to do. I know she hasn’t slept or done anything with anybody else other than me. I know she has feelings towards me and I just had sex with somebody 2 days ago.
When I was going out with her today I couldn’t be my usual self because I feel guilty. I know she thinks I haven’t had sex with anybody else. Or idk if she suspects that or not.
Anyways I now know I really like Nicky. I don’t know if I should just keep this to myself or let her know about what I have done. I feel like she will be really hurt or feel betrayed. She’s only had sex with me has only seen me and I have been seeing both of them.
I want to be with Nicky but not sure if I should tell her about this or not I don’t want to have this weighing on my conscious the whole time. I would appreciate any advice
Thank you
TLDR: have been non exclusive with 2 girls. They know I don’t want exclusivity. I had sex with girl#1 2 times in the past 2 months. I just had sex with girl #2 a couple days ago and I’ve just now realized I’ve caught feelings for girl #1. Not sure if I should just hold onto this fact of not letting girl #1 know that I’ve had sex with somebody so I don’t hurt her. Or tell her
4 comments
How do u know if they caught feelings for you???? Key rule to dating: assume non-exclusive unless you both agree to be exclusive.
So I don’t think you should feel bad 🤷🏽♀️
You don’t have to tell Nicky about Sarah. But maybe end things with Sarah and ask Nicky on a date? Sounds like you really like her 🙂
If she knew you didn’t want anything serious and you never agreed to be sexually exclusive you don’t need to tell her. Just ask her out, tell her you like her and have the exclusive talk. Good luck buddy!
You shouldn’t feel bad because you were honest with both of them from the beginning. Even if you’ve caught feelings for Nicky, you’re not obliged to tell her anything. That said, I personally love honesty in my relationship. My husband knows that I’ve slept with a lot of people etc. and I’m always completely honest because a) it weeds out narrow-minded people who I wouldn’t want to be with and b) there’s not going to be any surprises in the future.
If you like Nicky and you’re sure she likes you, tell her how you feel. Don’t miss out on the chance for something special with her. And if you want to tell her about your sexual past, including Sarah, then tell her. Even if she feels some sort of negativity towards you sleeping with Sarah, at least she’ll know that you’re honest and you don’t hide things.
Let us know what happens, I really hope that things work out for you with Nicky 🙂