I 26F have been with boyfriend 34M for 1 year plus.
We quickly established that we were husband and wife (he called me wife on the get go).
I’ve met all his family and my family knows about him.
During this year, I’ve borrowed him £5k and we have been intimate (I am a Christian but as we established we are husband and wife I felt comfortable being with him).
He has a 5 year old son he sees twice a month and he was not in most of his life due to legal battles (only started seeing him 1 year ago).
Now, I’ve done a lot for this man overall and again, we have been heavily planning for the future (he has recently got a better job to earn more ahead of our expenses and some other things here and there). I must say he wakes up at 6 am most days to drop me to work and pick me up.
However! Now I feel like he uses the husband and wife card only when it suits him.
He has his son as phone screen and I don’t mind but some time ago it’s something that I said I’d like to be in (maybe a photo of me and him) he said at that time he didn’t do actual picture for screen savers but now has his son.
He recently bought some pictures frames and he said in one he’ll put one of his certificates, and the other pictures of him and his son.
I asked what about me? And he said “we are not married yet I’ll put it when your parents approve of me” “I told you to get pregnant again you refused”. He says this also when for example I want to have access to his phone for something as simple as a telephone call he says “we are not yet married”. So it’s like now his ideal is that if we are not officially married or I have a child for him there’s certain things I shouldn’t expect; but he can expect anything from me because he is “my heusband”.
Now this hurts a bit because he claims me and his son are the most important people (he lied about his son at the start; and I only stayed because he said our relationship woudknt suffer with him having a kid) but at this point I feel like I am not receiving things most women would like especially cause he doesn’t cost him anything having me in one of the frames too (he has 3) a couple picture something.
I’ve met his son already and even payed for one of his sessions some time ago for them to meet. Went arcade and I paid all the games and now this?
Also he still doesn’t have much money now as his job just started and in fact I had to pay some things today including fuel; however he miraculously had money to buy 3 frames to put his certificate and his son and him.
I would just like some advice on whether I am being unreasonable for expecting to be part of his house and the frames as I do a lot in the house too, clean cook, buy things for the house; I don’t live there but I am there a lot and me and him also unfortunately lost a child last year (during the pregnancy) and he is due to meet my parents in 3 weeks
I have tried breaking up with him few times but he just came to my workplace and things kept on but I feel like I’ve poured so much that I need some of that back (he is due to pay my money off and it’s all diarised)
Tl;dr Boyfriend bought picture frames and refuses to put me in one of them but has his son saying I am not yet his wife even though I have been wife material throughout the relationship