I’m always horny/wet and it’s becoming an issue in many ways I’m sure u could imagine so this is gonna be a long read …
I was never allowed to really date growing up or hang out with guys my family is super religious and my mom is a pastor, due to all these rules that were set growing up …I don’t know how to act or talk around guys I have no self control my anxiety is all over the place and I can’t think straight the older I get the more I find my own anxiety ridiculous it’s crippling my ability to communicate with any potential sexual partner so a little background….
i had my first boyfriend my freshman year of high school he was super religious and did not want to have sex with me but still liked for me to give him head and wanted to try anal although I was too scared so we never did then when I turned 17 I started dating my ex who was 22 at the time I never enjoyed sex and he always told me it was normal for girls to not enjoy it that much all he ever did to me was penetration and he ate me out one time at the beginning of our relationship he also told me that most guys don’t enjoy giving head and that if anybody ever told me they did they were lying so I never asked him too he was also too big for me and there was never any forplay so it always hurt going in and he would just use his spit I’ve had sex outside of that relationship before but never really enjoyed myself and it never went past penetration and fingering and the basic positions and never lasted that long either I’ve only gotten head a handful of times but couldn’t enjoy anything because I was anxious and overthinking the whole time about if they even wanted to because of how my ex boyfriend spoke about it and just my general anxiety around men ….very few times have I had sex sober because of this even when I was with my ex…I’ve never been able to do it 100% sober and I’ve had very few experiences where I did enjoy sex or have been able to get wet when I’m sober because of how anxious I am the only time I do get wet in appropriate settings is if im watching porn specifically porn that’s more on the taboo side of things I’m worried if I have sex sober I won’t like it I feel like such a weirdo because there’s no way this is normal and also worried that if I continue on this way it won’t be healthy or helpful to my hope to gain sexual experience I’ll learn nothing about my body or wants because my minds focused on all the wrong things when it comes down to getting to business and it won’t be healthy because i won’t be sober I’ve thought about a sex therapist but I’m not sure that’s a real thing lol….
All this to ask, was my ex being honest? how do I get the nerve to ask for what I want or even find the experiences I need to learn and experience the things I think I want ? Is there something wrong with me or have other girls also experienced this? Do I need to talk to someone? im worried that this is going to become a problem in my sex life having a high sex drive and not being able to enjoy sex or have sex or even know how to enjoy sex is the epitome of sexual frustration