I feel like I’d feel so much relief if I separated or divorced my husband. I know relief would be the winning emotion that prevails the most. I’d also feel grief and loss, but not heartbreak. I already went through heartbreak earlier
He’s working really hard to get to a healthier place. He has a porn addiction and some mental health issues that he’s actively getting therapy and treatment for. These led to an incident in the past where he sexted with a couple random men on the internet, ultimately meaning he cheated on me for several hours while he sexted them.
He’s a man and I’m a woman to clarify things. He’s bisexual but has no interest in a long term romantic partnership with men, so he heteroromantic. Hopefully that makes sense. He wants a family with me and he’s putting in the work to be able to achieve that…
We’re just really struggling as he’s trying to figure out what medicine helps his mental health and what doesn’t. It’s his first time trying medication for things and I’m super happy he’s trying and it’s helping but with all mental health meds, the adjustment period has been really rough. We’ve had his dose moved around so much and he just got so irritable and mean with me and our pets. I told him it was the medicine and after some adamance on the topic on my part, he took me seriously and reached out to his doctor. I’m constantly on edge with him now though… both just in general and we haven’t been having sex due to the severe betrayal and hurt I feel regarding the sexting and porn addiction
All around I want to make this work. This is the first time a partner has ever genuinely listened to my concerns and taken my advice on how to become better. I feel he deserves a chance because he’s genuinely taking action to become better. We aren’t just waiting around for things to go bad again. It’s just right now, in the interim while we sort this all out, it’s so painful for me. I intend to stick with my plan to see this through and see if we can bring positivity and love back into our marriage after a great amount of effort and patience is expended by both of us
I’m just so tired right now