My girlfriend and I have been dating for the past 3 years and for the past 2 years she has been in the gym consistently. She posts her progress pictures and gym pics on her social media and the pictures have become more revealing and suggestive over time, with her boobs and ass out on display for all to see with most of her poses. This then caused her to gain tens of thousands of followers and a lot of attention, particularly from guys.
At first this didn’t bother me as much but over time she became obsessed with her social media, posting at least 5-6 thirst traps a week. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with the way she was displaying her body and didn’t like how she was soaking up the attention from other men. She was quick to say I was just being insecure and that she could do with her body what she wanted. Idk about me being insecure so much as I thought it was just respectful to not post those types of pictures when you are in a serious relationship with someone. We kept going back and forth but she was adamant that she was doing this for herself and because she likes to feel hot, which bothers me because I express to her as much as I can that she is very attractive and I figured that my validation would be enough. I told her if she was only doing it for herself and not the validation from people other than myself then this would be a nonissue but she still persisted.
Finally I just decided to relent and fight fire with fire. I’m not the most handsome guy in the world but I would consider myself above average, I have a great physique thanks to rock climbing and kickboxing, and I am blessed downstairs as I’m 8 inches erect (I thank my German & African genes). I hire my photographer friend to take quality pictures of me for a few hours. The pictures turn out great as I look like an Abercrombie or Hollister model. I post the pictures and I honestly don’t expect to get much attention since I don’t have nearly as many followers as my gf but man was I wrong.
The pictures are easily my most liked and commented on by far and I get way more attention from women than I expected (and even some guys lmao). The finishing touch was a picture of me, muscles fully pumped, in nothing but some Calvin Klein underwear with my full print on display, gaining the attention from a lot of women.
Needless to say my gf was not happy at all. I told her I just wanted to post some pictures of my body cause I thought it looked nice and explained to her that it was the same thing she was doing but she argued that what I was doing isn’t the same at all because of course it wasn’t. She screamed at me to delete the pictures and I told her I would if she stopped posting her own thirst traps, to which she replied by screaming and stomping out of my apartment.
I have not heard from her in the past 4 days and she has not posted any pictures since then. I really do love her and hope we don’t break up over something as trivial as this. But I also don’t know what to do or even say to her. I hope we can both move past this.
TL;DR – My gf wouldn’t stop posting thirst traps after I asked her to stop because I think it’s disrespectful. So I posted some of my own and she got pissed and stopped talking to me after I refused to take them down. Idk where we should go from here?
18 comments
Honestly you both sound pretty immature. Neither of you should be trying to control what pictures your partner posts online.
Oooh you want advice? Imma have to stop smiling first. I think you played a good hand and she needs to suck it up. What’s good for the goose etc.. PS are your pics on Reddit?
Wow, that’s crazy man. First off, I also hope y’all don’t break up over something this silly. Secondly, I do think you had every right to post those pictures. She wouldn’t stop so you wanted/needed her to she how you felt and she straight up couldn’t handle it. She stormed out! That’s where you know something isn’t right.
When you’re in a relationship, your partner’s attention is all you should need to feel hot or attractive. Maybe you like posting pictures for attention but that’s something you have to talk about with your partner.
I’m really sorry you have to go through this man, I’m sure it’s stressful. But my question now is, after all that attention, will you delete the pictures and stop posting them? Because if you get more attention than her about your pictures and can stop cold Turkey for her then she should be able to do the exact same thing for you.
Edit: Wow, getting dislikes for this. Ouch.
I wanna see these pictures of you, just so I can give you better advice. For research purposes 😌
Honestly had she not reacted like that you definitely would have been in the wrong by bothering her about her Instagram. But if she has those double standards then there is a problem she needs to work on.
However I personally would draw a line at showing your genitals off, that is honestly kinda gross and not even allowed on most of social media sites and doesn’t compare to a boob or butt.
You should sit down together and talk about boundaries and then decide if you both can agree on some, jf not it’s probably better to break up. Also if she has that many followers she probably also earns money with her social media in which case I can totally understand her wanting to keep it up and as long as you love her and trust her to stick to boundaries like no nudity, no poses of recreation of sexual acts etc. you should be able to support that.
Firstly, neither of yall can dictate what the other does with their bodies, so you both suck there. Secondly, this was petty as hell on ur part. From my understanding, she is basically posting progress pics, shes been working out and proud of her body. But you just did it to get a rise out of her, that’s not healthy.
Yall need to have a real conversation about boundaries, and if you cant come up with a compromise them maybe that’s a deal breaker for you.
Ur both too immature to be in a relationship. Especially her. I’d break it off.
Lol, I love the pettiness.
A lot of people are saying OP is immature but I think OP breaking up with his girlfriend over something like this is even more immature. From what it seems he tried to talk to her several times to no avail. And instead of breaking up with his live he tried to, at least to me, communicate his discontent to her in a different way. I can at least respect OP not throwing in the towel.
Edit: Also cool to see OP’s gf be called out on her hypocrisy, cause a lot of females if they were in OP gf’s shoes would have the same reaction to what OP did.
You are a child. She is a child. Period. You have no idea what it means to be in a trusting relationship.
When your gf starts yelling, screaming, and demanding you stop doing the same thing that she is doing, it is time to remove her from her kindergarden and have her take her nap.
The problem is obviously you both can post what you want, but she wasn’t hearing you out first. Emotions don’t always have to be wrong or right. People can argue all day that you’re wrong for not wanting her to post them or that you’re right for wanting the respect to not post them. But either way, wrong or right, that’s how you feel. And communication is important in relationships. If someone does something that bothers the other person, it doesn’t mean what they did was necessarily wrong, sometimes you just think differently. But you can’t just say well this is who I am get over it. Cuz it invalidates the other persons feelings
She should be trying to understand where you’re coming from. Obviously posting things sometimes is fine but it sounds like she’s constantly posting things about herself like that, and she definitely had no right to be mad at you for doing the same thing. The whole “Its okay when I do it but not when you do it” argument works for absolutely nothing lol
I do gotta say tho…..kinda funny you posted some of yours XD I totally understand why lmao I’m sure it’ll be okay tho
Petty and immature? Yeah a bit. Effective at demonstrating how her pictures make you feel? Yes. Expose her as a hypocrite? Definitely.
While I agree with other comments saying you don’t have the right to dictate what each other posts, I will say that it’s a matter of courtesy and respect when you’re in a relationship. If your SO isn’t comfortable with something you’re doing, then the decent thing to do would be to have a conversation and come to a compromise or understanding. At the very least acknowledging and validating your SO’s feelings. Your gf did neither of these options, in fact did the exact opposite when you posted your pictures and she saw how it felt.
Bruh she sounds like a brat lol. Is the head really that good
This sounds very fake.
One you both reach your teens, you’ll probably realise how silly you’ve been.
“She was quick to say I was just being insecure and that she could do with her body what she wanted.”
You’re right, you can do whatever you want… so long as your body is on the outside of my front door as a single woman. Bye.
She’s not ready to settle down with one guy yet. She’s still craving attention from other men. You’re young. Walk away from her, young man. You’ve got a wonderful next decade in front of you. Don’t settle for someone who treats you with such little respect.
Good luck.
Haha! This is a very creative approach to the issue you have been facing and an effective way of calling out her bullshit. Why can’t she take a taste of her own medicine? This is very revealing indeed.
I’m not sure what the answer is here but it seems to be a sign of the times.
The thing to consider I suppose is the whole validation thing for her… Does she completely rely on validation from outside sources to feel good about herself? Is she lacking internal self esteem? If she is seeking validation through others, living life through the lense of what she thinks others want her to do, she may not be living life in her own authentic way.
The risk here is down the line, she will realise she has not been true to herself, and this is a disappointing lesson to learn, that you have been living life, not to your own rules but have allowed it to be dictated by others.
One way that she could find out how much she is relying on the validation is to take a social media break to see how she feels without it. Then she will be able to tap into her own feelings surrounding her achievements in the gym and everyday life.
I think your actions have given her much food for thought, perhaps give her some time to process this – hopefully she will come out the other side thinking differently about her behaviour with social media.