I (40m) have been in a relationship with my fiancé (38f) for 10 years (engaged for 3 of them).
About 3 to 4 years into the relationship, she had to file for bankruptcy. Part of the bankruptcy included her having to take mandatory finance classes. Since that time, I have been paying for all household expenses as well as transportation. I am okay with this.
We recently got into an argument over something unrelated, and that led to discussing the finance part; how I’d like her to start contributing a bit towards our expenses. She informed me that she is back in severe credit card debt, at least $5K. She will not show me the accounts and has since refused to let me see them. I could likely bail her out, but not if she refuses to let me make a Mint account for her (or something).
I am just worried that this behavior will never change. If I had to file for bankruptcy, I sure as heck would place a large focus on living within my means going forward. I also worry that if we were to marry, then she might bring me down the financial hole too. Family and friends have basically not given me advice one way or the other. I am not sure what to do. I love her, but I am also very scared about this pattern of behavior. Advice is appreciated!