Throwaway account. My partner (33M) and I (34F) are 8 months together. We were out for dinner and our talk bumped on the topic height. We are both quite short people (he is 175cm and I am 162cm) and we were talking about the psychological effects of it in the work environment. He then proceeded to say he wish he was taller not because of dating, but because of other reasons.
He immediately then proceeded to tell me about a research in which they concluded that between very attractive short men and not attractive tall men, women would most of times pick the tall men (I don’t know the source).
It was a silly topic, but that didn’t sit right with me because he initially said that the issue didn’t matter for dating. This was not the first time he showed bitterness about the dating scene cause of his height though.
I then got curious and seeing he seems to have a bitter feeling about it, I asked him if he would be with me if he was taller. He said he didn’t know.
I felt quite hurt about it, because I feel like he just settled for me because he cannot get anything better or anyone taller (he already told in other occasions he would never date a woman taller than him). So seems like I am a placeholder. After all, if he was taller he probably wouldn’t be with me.
So I am asking for your input. I feel really like I am not his first choice and don’t know if I should end things based on this. When I told him that after what he said I understand he probably wouldn’t be with me then, he kinda snapped saying he cannot have any type of conversation with me without me creating a problem.
We both have communication problems so I don’t know how to bring this up again and if I should bring this up again.
What should I do? Is this a deal breaker?
TLDR: I asked my boyfriend if he would be with me if he was taller, and he said he didn’t know. Felt hurt and don’t know how to react to not being his first choice.