I was in the kitchen cooking, my wife tells me I’m hot. Her body language informed me to come closer. I went to her and kissed her and grabbed her waist. She then tells me she’s going to take a nap, come upstairs when I’m done in the kitchen. I said that’ll be about an hour. She said ok.
We’ve been struggling through some intimacy issues, some vulnerability and “presence” during sex since we got together. She’s in sex therapy currently.
During that hour when she was napping, I realized that I wasn’t even sure if she intended we were going to be intimate after her nap. Also, I became somewhat resentful during that time that it couldn’t just be spontaneous.
I couldn’t check my emotions by the time I was done and my energy was in a sad and hurt place.
I just need to know, what is my shit and what’s hers? Should I have got over it and stayed in the place of anticipation? What if we didn’t have sex? Then I would be kind of worked up and I didn’t want to be there and left hanging.
I feel like clearer communication would have helped me. I feel like an asshole that she’s hurt now because I got into a sour mood.
Any genuine thoughts and insights on this are appreciated.
If you were having sex struggles and your wife initiated, which she doesn’t do, and you got excited only to find she was going to go take a nap, leaving that energy to fizzle….tell me is it reasonable to feel upset or should I have just pulled my shit together?