Feeling extremely insecure and conflicted about this. But I F[21] have been dating my boyfriend M[23] for over two years and recently discovered that he has a porn addiction. I was using safari on his phone and I accidentally pressed the button that allows you too see all the tabs and it was just filled with cam girls, porn ect. It was wrong of me to continue looking through his phone but it broke me because we had a major conversation about my boundaries and my feelings about porn/only fan girls and he had assured me and wrote many paragraphs about how he finds porn unhealthy and does not engage with that.
His hidden folder on the iPhone album had pics of all these only fan girls nudes and he was quite active on reddit as well and would comment asking for the name of particular porn stars and OF creators, even sharing OF content, leaks and answering questions asked on those reddit pages. I looked at his notes and he just had a massive list of OF girls Instagram and tik tok links.
He also has at least 6 different accounts with different porn sites and from his safari history he watches it almost everyday.
I honestly bawled my eyes out and could not function properly for days after discovering this. It has made me feel so insecure as I look like none of these girls he is repeatedly searching up and watching. I was content with how I looked and confident with myself but after finding all of this stuff on his phone it has completely destroyed my self esteem. We have already discussed this and he apologised and tried to reassure me that just because he looked at stuff like that it doesn’t mean he is not into me or doesn’t find me attractive. He showed me he deleted reddit and all the pictures of those OF girls and his porn accounts. But I just feel he will learn to hide it better. I don’t know if it’s worth staying because I feel I will forever remember what I found on his phone. But at the same time I also feel like maybe it’s a normal thing for young men and I am being dramatic and insecure.
TL;DR. Discovered my bf has a porn addiction and don’t know if he will just hide it better or actually change.
EDIT: we had LDR for a year and then I moved to his state and have been here for a couple of months now and am just feeling overwhelmed if I break up with him cause I’ll be by myself in this state.
Please give me advice.