does my husband really love me?
I have been married for 5-6 years now and my husband has always been a little inattentive but nothing major. I even told him to get his hearing checked out and advised him to get medication if he has a processing disorder. It’s hard to explain all the little things that make me feel uneasy and unloved in the relationship but I can boil it down to the fact that there’s some mistrust there because he often lies about small things and gets caught and also has been at times kind of physical or humiliating towards me when our fight was bad. He bangs his head against the wall until it bleeds if I get too upset with him and that’s how most of our bad fights end- in a state of shock and silence for me and I completly back down at that point despite telling him it’s not ok for the kids or myself or him to resort to that. All in all he used to tell me stories how he didn’t do a law clerkship to attend events for his ex, how he did all her school work in college despite her cheating on him for being long distance, and how attentive he was towards her like she would mention a necklace she liked and months later he would surprise her with it. I can’t believe this is the same man I married because the guy I married needs 10 reminders to take the trash out, doesn’t actually buy me much unless I buy it myself and in general doesn’t listen to me. He wasn’t that bad when we first got married but it’s hard to compare it to back then. I think he doesn’t love me or at least he doesn’t love me like he loved his ex. im not saying he doesn’t do anything for me. He does some major things for me as well but only if it’s out of necessity and with lots of reminders. On a small gesture and thoughtfulness level his presence is absent. I just don’t see this attentive man he is describing as the same person I am currently married and I wonder why? Am I wrong? Am I missing something?