I met my bf over a year and a half ago, and we moved in together 9 months after dating. It was a big move, from North US to the south. I guess my skin hasn’t really adjusted well to the climate and I developed eczema. It started out on my feet as hundreds of red dots. It was incredibly uncomfortable so I went to the doctors and got steroids. Since then it has developed in lots of places on my body.
At first he was pretty understanding about it, as it’s not my fault. I have done a lot of trial and error to keep it under control and have been doing better, but it isn’t perfect. Unfortunately, one huge sacrifice I had to make was daily showers. I hate feeling unclean, but my skin can’t handle exposure to water every day. No matter the temperature, no matter what products I use, it always gets worse if I shower daily and it never heals. I usually shower every day, but sometimes every 2 days if it is flaring.
I already feel self conscious about it, and he makes little remarks that make me feel worse. He calls me gross or that I am lying about my eczema to skip showers. Then days I do shower he will make comments about how it must be a blue moon. Keep in mind I am still very diligent about if I smell bad. I use wipes on my pits and other areas constantly and even ask him if I smell, which he says I usually don’t unless I work up a sweat.
He also constantly accuses me of “giving” him eczema even though I tell him that isn’t how it works at all. Every time he has dry skin or an itch I’ve given him my eczema.
I also feel like he is always writing it off as imaginary or me being dramatic. For example, he said he wanted to buy me some clothes for Christmas. I told him that I would love that, but that I only want 100% cotton since that’s what doesn’t irritate my skin. I told him that it can cost more so if he doesn’t want to do that and get something other than clothing I would understand. He acted like I was making sense but then on Christmas gave me a hoody that was 80% polyester. He said he didn’t check the tag because it felt soft enough. I wasn’t mad, but I did ask him to return it and not to worry about replacing it.
I do feel disappointed in hindsight that he ignored what I said, and I feel like he does that a lot. He doesn’t believe water is making it worse, or polyester, and he doesn’t believe it’s as uncomfortable as I say. That coupled with the mean comments has started to get to me. How can I get him to respect the fact that this is real and I am doing my best?