My boyfriend initiated sex with me a few days ago I really didn’t want it but I really hate upsetting people (childhood trauma yay) and I didn’t want to say no to him so I just let him do whatever he wanted and I zoned out. Afterwards I guess he realised I was acting weird and he ask me what was wrong I didn’t tell him at first but i felt really shitty for lying to him and I told him that I just wasn’t really in the mood when we had sex. Since I told him my bf has been really upset he thinks he raped me and he feels so guilty. I’ve tried to tell him that he didn’t but he won’t believe me.
I just wish I would’ve told him no because it did make me feel really shit but he definitely didn’t rape me it’s my own fault for not telling him no. How do I get him to understand that he didn’t rape me? He hates himself and it’s my fault and i feel so awful I just dont want him to be upset anymore :/