Hi all.
To start off, me and my partner have been together for two and a half years, and have lived together a fair amount in that time due to the pandemic. We don’t live together now, but still see each other pretty often. We’re both men, he’s 46 and I’m 23.
My sex drive tends to be fairly high, whereas his tends to be quite low, especially because he suffers with a couple of muscular issues and so is in pain a fair amount of the time.
I understand this, and so I tend to rein my sexuality in a bit, but I still want to be intimate with him. However, he doesn’t seem to understand the difference between intimacy and sex.
Because of this, the vast majority of times when I try and be intimate without being sexual, so, for example, stroking his body or having a cuddle, he thinks I’m being disrespectful of his pain and that I don’t care, whereas for me, I just want to make him feel good and be close to him.
Any thoughts of how to tackle this issue?
TL;DR: I want to be intimate but my partner with a low sex drive constantly thinks its sexual.
3 comments
Why are so many women with men half their age?
You have to be explicit with some people.
Say it out loud “I’m not trying to have sex right now” And be a bit more gentle. Maybe offer to use a pain relief balm or ointment. That way you get to be a little bit intimate while still being sensitive to his pain.
If he’s in pain and feels you’re being disrespectful of that, you need to find other ways to be intimate.