I have been seeing a guy who I really like for a couple of months now. Our sex life is great but he’s started to get erectile dysfunction fairly often (either we start having sex and he loses it or he can’t get one in the first place). He hasn’t said anything about it but I’ve noticed I’m getting ads for Viagra on my phone so I think he’s googling it at my house.
Should I ask him about it or is that likely to make him more anxious? He’s 38 and I’m 35. I’m worried that he thinks I’m unsatisfied when I’m not so I’d like to put his mind at ease if I can somehow.
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Just tell him its not a big deal to you. It would help with the insecurity he has. Its common to experience ED and nothing to be ashamed of.
Guys – me included – are the worst when it comes to cowboying up and going to see a doctor. If/when you tell him that you’re on his side, suggest he has a conversation with a GP. There may be lifestyle factors involved that can be addressed.
A lot of it can be driven by performance anxiety that just spirals. By that I mean he worries about having ED issues which makes it more likely that he will have them. So yes, saying that you are happy and not worried about it may help take the pressure off and might actually even help the problem. If nothing else it will make it easier for him to enjoy sex.
Depends, have you bought a Fleet Carrier yet?
Is he overweight? Does he drink a lot? Is he on SSRI medication? I had to lose weight and stop drinking and everything bounced right back no pun intended.
If it wasn’t an issue, and then all of a sudden starts becoming an issue just over a few months, I’m guessing he’s completely in his head about something and getting performance anxiety. Maybe he is really into you and wants to perform well but psyching himself out? When it happens, without calling attention to it, you may want to find an elegant way to transition him to other activities away from his lower area for a few minutes. Take his mind off that direct issue and help him relax a bit.
Why are so many young men having ED symptoms recently? I keep seeing it over and over again.
The 3 key ingredients are to eat right, move your body in some meaningful way every once and awhile, and have some damn self-confidence.
Assuming we’re talking about a regular Joe in their 30s this should be the default. Not some wild pinnacle to reach for.
I’d definitely want my wife to bring it up. I just want communication about how our sex life can be the best it can be, and me maintaining erections is part of that.
he’s at about that age where i think a lot of men (including me) start to notice that issue occasionally. it can start as something very innocuous…for me i had trouble one night when i was too intoxicated and it led to me worrying that would happen which created ED all the time.
i think it would help to bring it up in a casual way. if he’s thinking about ED drugs it might give him validation that you’re on board and it’s a good idea. ED drugs will work but be careful, in my experience it can lead to a mental dependence on them – when they’re not available you can worry yourself into more ED problems and then the spiral continues
If you’ve noticed, he definitely has. Approach with delicacy, sensitivity, and support. Tell him everything you told us about your feelings of satisfaction
Pair the discussion with ways you can diversify your sex. Make the aim a broader goal of communicating openly about sex rather than just addressing a single issue. That should definitely help.
FWIW, I have never searched for anything to do with Viagra, erectile dysfunction, etc., and I get 300-400 spam emails a day and tons of random ads (when I have my adblocker disabled) about such things. That might not be the data point you thought it was.