So I started dating a girl from my gym. We matched on hinge and started speaking on Instagram for a couple of weeks. It was going really well. Speaking everyday, lengthy conversations.
I organised our first date. I went in with level expectations but it went way better than I expected. We instantly hit it off, good chat, I took her to a few bars, she took me to her favourite places too. It was like a mini bar crawl. She had a lot of green flags (very open to pay for 50/50 on rounds of drinks even though I insisted I didn’t mind paying it all, she also asked me if my friends would like the bars she took me too). She told me on the date she fancied me in the gym. Later She ended up leaning in and giving me a small kiss and then I took the that as a sign to get abit more intimate and we french kissed quite a lot. The date ended well with us holding hands and. splitting a taxi. There was chemistry.
The next week goes by, we continue speaking on Instagram. I tell her if she wants to go out again and she agrees. We both agree for a more chilled out coffee date. Next Saturday comes around. I pick her up, we go for coffee, have a nice walk, and then sit in a cafe and split a pizza. Again, I got us a couple of coffees and she insisted on paying for the pizza. The date was for about 4 hours. I drop her off home. The date was a lot more PG which was fine by me. I give her a kiss on the cheek when she got out the car and that was really it. I also leant her a book I mentioned to her on the date that she asked if she could borrow (I thought it would be a nice touch to bring it and give it to her to borrow).
After this date is when things get abit weird. We where meant to do a gym session on the Sunday the next day. She had a brunch that day and she usually visits her dad so she messaged ged me to cancel. Which is fine, I understood she’s very busy (she works 3 jobs too)
Monday comes and it’s taken her nearly a day for her to get back to the simple fun messages we sent each other. I started to get a feeling something was up.
On Monday night she finally gets back. I decide to take the opportunity to ask if she wants to hang out again next Saturday for another date.
I then get a massive paragraph off her explaining how she wants to “take a break from dating” and that “not in the right headspace for anything serious”. She states that it’s her mindset after her last relationship (she’s only been in one relationship prior for 4-5 years and he cheated on her). She’s only 23 and I’m the only date she’s gone on off hinge or at all really so I know she doesn’t just date around. She goes on to say “I’m not saying I wouldn’t be open to something in the future with you I really do like you as a person I’m just in the wrong headspace for any commitment”
My question is have I just been friend zoned? Did I do something wrong? I don’t get how things could be going so well and then do a complete 180. She says it’s her but I can’t help but feels I’ve done something on the second date for her to lose interest. She says she doesn’t want anything serious but in our messages and dates would suggest otherwise:
• she asks me when can we take my family’s puppy for a walk together (wants to spend more time together)
• she initiated the kiss on our first date
• she asks if she can borrow my favourite books (implies she wants to stay around to give it back)
• asks if my friends will like the bars she chose (makes me think she wants to be part of my social life)
• seemed happy about the idea of a double date with my friends when I brought it up
• told me in messages that I was “ticking boxes” for her in regard what she likes in guys
I don’t know what went wrong or what to do about it did she just lose interest? I’m giving her space and no longer speaking to her but I feel crushed. I don’t understand why be on a dating app, go on dates speak to me for weeks just to turn round and say she is not in the right headspace for any commitment. Can anyone provide an explanation or what I should do? I really liked this girl. Kind of devastated.