What has put you off from having sex with your partner?

31 comments

1. Sometimes exhaustion, sometimes menopause, sometimes stress.

2. – he started accusing me of thinking of someone else when I’d close my eyes. Wtf? I wasn’t btw

   – I told him his dick size was perfection to me. But he asked if I’d had bigger than him and I said that I had. Somehow he got really insecure about it. I have no idea why, it was completely out of the blue.

   – he constantly eyefucks other women when we are in public. This makes me feel inadequate, disrespected, and quite frankly, creeped out.

   – all of a sudden his political views on abortion changed. I’m pro choice and he knows this. He was too until… he wasn’t? This made me feel gross.

3. Knowing he’s been watching porn. I don’t like taking care of a boner someone else gave him.

4. We’re both menstruating.

5. Very little help with the mental load and household management.

6. She nitpicks everything about me. Points out what she doesn’t like more than offers compliments.

7. He’s always in a bad mood or complaining about something. It’s a major turn off.

8. Feel like I’m the default parent, house keeper and all around family planner. There is also lack of physical attractiveness anymore. Sitting around not doing a whole lot takes away from the “spice” of it all.

9. he’s moody and doesn’t take care of his health. i’m sensitive to both of those things and it takes a minute for me to get over it enough to even want to

10. Hearing him fart or take a shit dries me up instantly.

11. Told me: ‘You can’t even make your partner cum…’ during sex and told me before: ‘When you go out with friends you look good, and what do I have at home?’

    That kind of ruined it for me.

12. My anti-depressants kill my sex drive, so nothing on his part but damn it’s so annoying cause i cant just come off them.

13. We both have very low libido, and he’s gained a lot of weight so he doesn’t feel attractive or doesn’t think he has the stamina.

14. I have received too much rejection that I wouldn’t wanna open and give myself anymore.

    It is heartbreaking that my self-confidence is affected.

15. His sexting and cheating with other women.

16. Not looking after dental health, not buzzing down the nether regions.

17. Lack of any quality time/romance.

    He comes home, plays the game from 4PM-dinner time, then if he has the next day off he goes back to gaming after dinner til 12AM-3AM. If he has work in the morning, then he goes to bed. Only plans for us to have sex.

    My libido is super low.

18. When he feels distant. Sex feels so empty.

19. The one time I fully got “the ick” with a partner and suddenly stopped wanting to have sex with him, it was because he had insulted my vagina during sex. Things ended shortly thereafter.

20. The on going for 10+ yrs remodeling. Our house is constantly a mess because he abandons the current project for months for hunting season. We have NO storage, no dressers, no room to store stuff because unlike every other house in our neighborhood, we have neither nice sheds for storage or a built in pantry. I hate the mess and it turns me off that he will not just get on with it or hire someone to just fucking finish it. 

21. Catholic guilt

22. Previous partner didn’t like hair down there and I mean he didn’t like ANY hair! Didn’t like me having a landing strip…. I hated being bald it made me feel like a little girl not to mention the actual pain of having to do it.

23. Bare minimum effort is a turn off bc it feels like a pity fuck or pitty pussy rub

24. Honestly? Bad breath. For some reason he gets bad breath randomly and as soon as he breaths near my nose it’s ugh. If I’m really in the mood I can ignore it. If I was just humoring the idea I tell him to brush his teeth. But that often kills the mood. Oh well.

25. Eating in bed. I really don’t like the sound of people eating and having someone lying next to you breathing heavily and crunching on an icecream makes me feel disgusting. Now I subconsciously associate bed with that sound.

26. He acts like my father and tries to correct my behavior.

27. Resentment that built up over the years.

28. When he doesn’t lay a hand on me, hug me or kiss me all day or for days and then out of nowhere wants to stick his tongue down my throat because it’s 9pm and he wants to get laid before he goes to sleep.

29. Knowing he’s watched/watching porn, or at the very least is lusting over girls. I know I’m not the best looking. Far from it. But I have to force myself to have sex with him at this point. It’s fucking draining.

30. Whenever I come home from a long day of work and I see dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor, and trash by the door, I instantly am put off from sex. When I’m home and my husband is at work, I do chores without even thinking about it. It’s automatic. So, I expect the same.

31. He’s getting so lazy with foreplay. And then pouts when I recoil if he tries to put his penis in before I’m ready. It’s so damn unsexy, and makes me feel like an appliance and not a person.

    I’m sure he’ll come around, and maybe we need a good kid-free vacation where I can demand proper foreplay without the worry that we have to be quick and quiet or we risk being interrupted.

    Until then I’m just not really going to give in. Lack of foreplay means it hurts – I’m not doing that.