i’ve been seeing my partner for about a year. he has female friends from before i met him and it’s felt like he has always prioritized them.
last may, right before i was going back home from school, he told me we should pick back up in the fall. we were not officially dating and it really bothered me that he said that because i thought we were getting more serious. because of my trauma in the past i am hypersexual. i think i use sex as a defense mechanism (I AM NOT EXCUSING MY ACTIONS AT ALL, I AM AWARE THAT I AM STILL ENTIRELY IN THE WRONG), i had sex with someone from my hometown. i regretted it, immediately told my partner and cut off all communication with the guy i got with.
my partner forgave me and we kept seeing each other. i have not done anything since and have been extremely loyal and have given him space/reassurance and whatever else he needs to forgive me. we officially started dating in the fall. since then things seemed a lot better, we’ve gotten to know each other very well and i have never felt closer with someone.
fast forward to a few weeks ago, he was inappropriately texting one of his female friends and told her it would stay between them. he also has invited another one of his girl friends over without telling me. he said it means nothing and he didn’t think it would upset me, however i’ve told him i’ve felt uncomfortable many times before so it felt like he wasn’t listening.
after seeing the texts, i broke up with him. he keeps bringing up how he gave me another chance after i messed up but i barely knew him at that time, and now i thought we were finally getting serious.
it’s been 3 weeks and we’re still in contact but ive made it clear i cannot be in a relationship with him. i really miss him though, he lives around the corner from me and we still have mutual friends so i see him often. it’s hard processing everything because i really did love him. i don’t know what to do. hoping for advice. thanks for reading 🫶🏼