My boyfriend and I having been dating for a little less than a year. he is a really good person and overall a good partner to me. however, I have always been very confused about what I feel towards him. I’m not sure if it’s love or just an attachment. In the beginning I convinced myself that I was being impatient and not letting the feelings flow organically, but months in and I’m still so confused. the problem isn’t about his looks, but about who he is as a person versus what I desire in a romantic partner. my partner is very meek, not very initiative or self assured. he prefers to be led in the relationship and coddled.. whereas, I have always been more attracted to independent, self assured, confident men. men who are assertive and unafraid to take charge. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with who he is whatsoever, but I don’t really think i’m attracted to it. our sex life is basically non existent because he doesn’t initiate and I don’t really have the desire to be intimate with him either. we have done it on several occasions of course but the spark and passion was always missing for me. with him, I always feel like something is missing. I’m always wanting more/different. and I have actually tried leaving before over this issue and explained that I was looking for a different dynamic. he insisted that he was just having trouble being that way because of his last relationship and that we shouldn’t break up because he just needed time, so I didn’t break up with him. but the more time passes the more Im certain it’s just his personality.. which is perfectly okay. I just wish he could accept that as well but instead he pretends or tries to change who he is just to be with me.
Tldr: bf doesn’t have qualities i’m typically attracted to. not sure whether to stay or leave