Background context: I used to go dancing alot but havent danced in years so lost touch with alot of the community. When I finally took the leap to start again recently, I met guy #1 during that night and he invited me to another dancing event. He seems to be well incorporated in the dance scene and when he invited me he said i can join them and their table and he told me to lmk when i get there so he can come get me. When i got there he introduced me to his friends and had them welcome me and watch over me (like in a caring way). Then later on i bumped into a guy (lets just call him guy #2 to avoid confusion) that i hadnt seen in like 6 years and guy #2 wanted to dance a good number of songs together and talk/catch up so i basically disappeared for like an hour and a half, nothing happened and I just didnt want to reject or push away guy #2 because I wanted to reestablish old friendships. I saw guy #1 pass by us at one point but not sure how long he was there. Then after i excused myself from guy #2 and went back to the table, guy #1 was gone and the girls he introduced me to also seemed to kind of be more standoffish/changed their vibe towards me (they werent mean, but i felt a noticeable shift/difference). I then texted him and this was how it went…

Me: Ya still here?
Him: Went home
Me: Aw i was thinking u were still dancing haha
Him: No i saw you were spending the rest of the time elsewhere so i left
Me: Hmm I bumped into someone i hadnt talked to in years and so he wanted to dance a few dances and then in between caught up on whats been going on during those years so i think u were referring to that time? then i went back to the couch afterwards for awhile and the whole time i thought u were still dancing haha

He didnt respond to that of course (what really can you say to that right), so the next day I decided maybe its a good idea to reach out and talk about it since I felt the shift in energy, and so I asked “Hi 🙂 are you free right now?” And he basically is just not even responding anymore. I was thinking and hoping that we would become like good friends when this all went down/when I met him and when he told me about the event, but i think this kind of screwed everything up. I was thinking of sending him the following apology message but feeling worried about it and unsure about sending it (i know its long but i also feel weird leaving out those details and explanations in case he doesnt respond, so that at least he will still get the full story if he does decide to never reply again:

“Hi [his name here], I had wanted to see if you had some free time yest so that I could tell you this. I wanted to say sorry that I got carried away with the time on Saturday and that I didnt check back in sooner and, as a result, that i didnt get to spend the time that I would have loved to spend more with you all before you left. To be honest, after losing touch from dancing for so long, I was really happy to bump into and reconnect with an old friend and catching up on updates and old memories since me and that person had the same group of friends, but I should have been more considerate of the time when doing so. I also wasnt really sure how to excuse myself earlier from that situation without feeling rude at the time especially since it was an old friend, but as a result of me not handling the situation better, I didnt get to spend more of the time that I wanted to spend with you all. It was very sweet of you to make sure I got in safe and introducing me to your friends, and so I feel really bad that I didn’t check back in sooner and when I found out that you had left already. So I wanted to sincerely apologize for the way I handled things on Saturday.”

2 comments
  1. if he didn’t bother answering your text when you explained why you left, i doubt he’s going to read that essay of an apology. don’t waste your time like that. he’ll come around when he wants to

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