For context I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and this has been my longest relationship so far. We also live together (moved pretty fast, i know.)
For starters, he’s unemployed. He hasn’t had a job in months and hasn’t been trying super hard to find one. He’s been doordashing but seeing as I have been paying all the bills alone for months, I tell him he has to buy the groceries which he is fine with since I don’t eat much.
He also gets very angry, very easily, if I bring up him not having a job he storms off and or begins to raise his voice. Once when I told him to back up and pushed him away from me a bit, he then proceeded to tell me that I was abusive because I pushed him away from me. I believed it because he brought up that often when we’re joking around I slap his arm (light playful slaps) but he told me that is abusive so since then i’ve completely stopped playfully hitting his arm.
But recently i’ve noticed he’s been very manipulative towards me, he will say mean things to me. For example recently I was complaining about him not picking up after himself and said that since he doesn’t have a job he should be keeping the apartment clean. He retaliated with telling me my job is easy and I need to help out, I work with infants all day so I told him that my job is draining and he said that it’s not and i need to wake up early on my off days to help clean up. When I got upset and told him i’m done arguing he instantly lowered his voice and said he’s so sorry and talked about how he didn’t mean it.
When we’re not arguing he’s very sweet to me and treats me so nicely but he also doesn’t put in much of an effort. For example, I love romance so I use to celebrate each month, not big celebrations but I would bring home stuff to make a meal together or I would decorate the apartment with hearts. Cheesy but simple.
My bf on the other hand has gotten me takeout for our one year. That’s it. He didn’t get me anything for my birthday, and when my sister dropped off bday decor so he could decorate the apartment he put it in his car and didn’t even attempt to decorate or celebrate it at all. I got mad about this and he “made it up” by buying me a christmas present. :/
Nonetheless I do love him alot and have major abandonment issues so I don’t even know how to begin to go about ending things.. especially since he would have no where to go.
**TL;DR** My bf is unemployed, doesn’t put in effort, raises his voice and is a bit manipulative but I do love him a lot and don’t want to ditch him when he has no one else..