So I have been doing mostly coffee dates recently and I find them harder than adventure dates. I feel like coffee and talking are often harder to bond over than trying some kind of new adventure together. To me, it’s harder to keep the conversation positive, interesting, and knowing when to end the date. I usually keep a coffee date to an hour unless the conversation is actually flowing well. What do you think?
Some people are easy to talk with and some can be difficult. My last date for instance was difficult and only wanted to talk about her work or my work. I ended up talking about work and yeah I’ve had cool jobs but who wants to just talk about work? When I tried to change the conversation to something more fun either things she said she was into or things I am into each time she seemed to have no input or opinion beyond one short sentence. The conversation fizzled out and I can tell it didn’t go well. I have been on three coffee dates recently and they all felt about the same so I feel like, am I the one doing something wrong? The location was great she loved the coffee spot and went on about how cool it was.
Topics I went into included traveling, most exciting adventures you’ve had, thoughts on books you’ve recently read, video games (I work in this industry and she doesn’t like them so I kept this brief) and mostly talked about jobs I did before video games, favorite television series, music, pets, outlook on the future, family, and favorite foods. Somehow she always turned the conversation back to work which made it feel like that was her whole personality.
Does anyone have any advice on making a coffee date better and maybe conversation advice? I’m normally funny but when I get nervous that side doesn’t come out. I feel I come off as overly talkative and possibly guarded on first dates. When I did adventure dates like escape rooms, axe throwing, white water springs or things like that the dates would go really well but I don’t like spending that kind of money on first dates. Mainly because I ended up being the person who didn’t care for the other person when I did this kind of date and decided to make first dates coffee and second dates adventures if we liked each other.
I don’t know if it’s hard to self-judge on these things but I cannot help but wonder that, if the conversation keeps going stale, is it me, or do I just keep meeting women without personalities outside of their jobs?