A month back, my (20M) mother (44F) and her boyfriend got into fight and things got physical. My mother fought back but she had bruises on her hands and face because of him. My mother told me about it and I told her it’ll be best to end the relationship. I never liked the guy she was seeing from the beginning (based on how he talks to her) and my mother knew that. I made her promise to me that she wouldn’t go back to him already.
Fast forward this week, my mother has been acting really sketchy – wouldn’t answer my calls and wouldn’t allow me to go home reasoning that she was busy. I went home anyway and I was surprised that she wasn’t there. I could tell she hadn’t been in the house for a while considering that since when I told her I was at her house she told me to check if there was water. I was already very suspicious at that point because she also wouldn’t tell me where she was when I asked. Since she wouldn’t budge, I just told her to be safe and I told her I hope she isn’t with (her boyfriend’s name). She didn’t reply to that message and instead called to ask me how I was doing at the house.
We met up for dinner today and while we were together, she gave me her old phone since mine was already broken. Admittedly what I did next was wrong but I don’t regret it. I went through the photos of her old phone just to see if I could find something and unfortunately, I did. She’s been apparently meeting with the guy and lying to me for weeks since December. I genuinely can’t breathe right now. I’m afraid things might get physical again with them.
Cutting things off with my mother is not an option. I want to be there for her. I also don’t think blowing up and getting mad at her is the right way to go since I bet that’ll only push her closer to her abuser. Any advice on what I should do?
TL;DR I just found out my (20M) mother (44F) has been meeting up and staying with her toxic/abusive boyfriend for weeks now after he hit her.