…but I am struggling. Hear me out: I’m asexual. I don’t feel attracted to other people that way, and I don’t have any particular feelings on sex. I’d say I used to be pretty indifferent about it.
But the older I get, I feel my views unintentionally shifting more and more. Which I don’t want. I’m an open and tolerant person, and I believe in sexual freedom. But I’m feeling so overwhelmed…
How many times have I heard people state “I wouldn’t enter a sexless relationship”, “sex is an integral part of a relationship” “a relationship without sex is just a friendship”, and things like that. Many people even break up with their partner if the sex life declines. And I get it: People have needs. I understand it on an objective level.
But the emotional part of me screams: If the relationship is dependend on wether or not sex is happening, than this is nothing but a transaction. There is a constant threat looming over it, like “you either have sex with me, or I am breaking up with you.”
That so many people feel like you cannot have a relationship without sex gives me the message: *You need to buy love with sex.*
And that is what is constantly haunting me. How do people do this? How do people fall in love, get intimate with someone,… with the knowledge that if you don’t offer sex, you will lose their love, or never receive it in the first place..?
I’d appreciate it very much if somebody could explain to me like I’m an idiot, and tell me I am wrong 😞
Does one have to buy love with sex? How can I gain a less… pessimistic view on that topic? This is genuinely depressing me and I want to work on my views and approach.
Thank you 💕