I wrote this in another subreddit, but it didn’t get much traction, maybe because I didn’t explicitly say I wanted advice. I’m going to leave out a bit so it’s not so badly NSFW.
My girlfriend (29F) and I (29F) have had a pretty great dating life so far, we’ve been together for about 2 years and I’ve started to notice recently that she’s becoming more aggressive. A few months ago we were telling stories of our exes and I told her I’ve never been with a guy experimentally or had penetrative sex. She said she’s always wanted to “pop someone’s cherry” and would love to try some toys. Reluctantly, I agreed I told her it was fun and left it at that. Honestly, it was okay, maybe a 3/10, nothing to write home about. I think she took this as a personal offense and started getting more toys, longer, larger, more ridiculous.
She’s experimenting with so many different territories and sex went from once in awhile to a few times weekly. I’m 4’10, she’s 6’2, and it’s getting to the point where it’s becoming kind of scary because she is so rough. I’ve tried expressing my concerns about the toys she’s getting (one of which literally shocked me) and asked if she’s doing okay, like emotionally and such, and she said she’s fine and is just grateful that I’m willing to let her experiment. I’m getting to the point where I’m so sore, I haven’t gone to the gym in a month, and I have the occasional welt or bruise that’s visible at work.
I don’t know know if she’s actually fine, or if she’s feeling like she’s missing something, but I’ve tried opening up communications about them, and it’s going nowhere. I don’t know if she feels our intimate life is boring, but she’s never said anything. I know I’m the longest female partner she’s had and she’s been with more men than women, so I don’t know if that’s possibly bothering her?
How can I make sure she’s truly okay without hurting her feelings? How can I express my concerns without her taking as a negative towards her wanting to experiment?
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TL;DR: My girlfriend keeps getting weird sex toys that are kind of painful and I’m worried for her emotional/mental health.