I’m 24(f) and my husband 27(m) doesn’t live with me and we are in a long distance relationship and he visits me at least once a month. Near the end of November he choked me hard enough to leave dark bruises, because he was upset at me. We weren’t even arguing and it came out of nowhere.
Lately, he has been extremely submissive and very nice to me, but he gets horny when I’m mean to him during an argument or something. ifdoes or says something awful to me, I can’t be upset at him for it otherwise he just gets horny and turns it sexual.
My question is, now that he’s being nice and submissive, will he eventually hit/choke me again even though he’s being extremely submissive? he’s apologized to me so much for it and his apology seems sincere.
MORE CONTEXT:
since the beginning of our relationship, we have argued so much about every little thing. he started choking me, is because he wanted to go to my moms house to see pictures of me when I was younger and I initially told him before he came here, we could go… but then when he got here I didn’t feel like having to deal with my mom and said I didn’t really wanna go and he started calling me a liar and then he started begging me to go and I still didn’t want to… then we stopped talking about it and then out of nowhere, he came in the room sat on my chest and started choking me asking me “will we go?” over and over. I relented and just said yes because he was choking me and then he finally stopped. would he have probably just kept choking me if I didn’t give in?
Update: I told him that hundreds of people on this site are telling me that he’s going to abuse me again and that he’s a bad guy and the statistics. he tried to downplay it as much as he could because “redditors don’t know the relationship. nobody knows this situation more than me”. and he tried implying that this site is full of people who try to tell others to divorce for fun. anyways, we argued and argued (this is all over text) and he kept saying “this is silly this isn’t a conversation we should be having over text”. in my mind, I knew there was no way I would say these things to him IRL out of fear of him doing something to me again. he tried to downplay the abuse as much as he could then played the guilt tripping card. I’ve seen it all already sooooo many times. I told him we’re going to get a divorce.
thank you people for allowing me to be more grounded and see some unbiased opinions outside of my own relationship.