My girlfriend of 8 months often makes extremely negative comments about her environment, the people in it, and even me sometimes. She’s often hypercritical in this way and it makes me feel like I’m not enough.
As an example, if I ask her how the gym was she tells me about all the people there lifting with bad form, and asks me why they would even bother if they’re not going to do it right. We’ll be in the car and she will look at someone’s yard we’re passing by and call it gross and ugly. Or this weekend we had a quiet day on the couch together relaxing and at the end of it she said it was actually boring, and terrible, and a complete waste of a day, that the only thing that would make it better is going to bed and ending it.
This kind of language is pretty constant from her and bleeds into her comments on me. I like to read twitter in the morning with my coffee and she’ll tell me what as waste of time it is. Or she’ll ask me to pick what to eat or how to spend our time, and then immediately shoot it down and choose something else.
This kind of thing is very hurtful and makes me question whether I’m good enough, and makes me anxious to speak up. I often feel like if I want to do something for myself I can’t even tell her and just have to go do it. When I’ve asked her about this, she says I’m policing her thoughts and that it’s not good to repress her feelings. At this point I’ve given up on saying anything, but I’d like to try speaking up again. How do I communicate how this makes me feel?
tl;dr my gf often defaults to a negative perspective and it’s been very hard on my self-worth. I’ve spoken to her about this, but she hasn’t been receptive in the past. I’d like to make my feelings known again, but I don’t know how to.