I haven’t been with a girl I legit cared for/interested in for what feels like 5 years now. I don’t know if I am depressed. I don’t think so because my life is really good, I make a shit load of money, I have no drama, my family and friends are awesome. I am lucky to have the abilities to do what I do, go to the gym, count my blessings, and jerk off lol.
Has anyone experienced below?
I am in my thirties and I came back from a “crazy” weekend out of town, and I am wondering if this is a normal 30+ experience (see below).
* I think it’s important to preface that I’ve grown up with female siblings, and I was the only male. Learning how to respect women was important growing up, but that never stopped me from appreciating the opposite sex, having gfs, picking up chicks at clubs, etc. However I always found “locker room” talk strange, and never wanted to associate myself with that shit or have my sisters hear I was near that talk.
* Since a young age, my sex drive has been healthy. The days of waking up “ready to go” was frequent, and I lost my virginity at 15 with my gf at the time, but post nut clarity haunted me a lot because I knew I wasn’t into her for long-term (getting married etc.,)
* Then in my twenties, I dated someone else for a few years and the beginning things were glorious, regular sex/etc., but after finishing university and starting out to work in corporate world, I was M.I.A a lot, our relationship drama spilled over into our intimate life. I was working a high powered job, I kinda just wanted to avoid all the drama after coming home from 12-14h days. It was a downward spiral from there and our relationship ended after many years together of holding onto something that fell apart I guess, and sex was SUPER rare.
* One thing that was constant from a young age was 2-3 times a week, I’d take of bidness “myself”
**I go to the gym 3-4 times a week, I am relatively good shape (5’10, 160 lbs), but I can’t help but question if my sex drive / testosterone level is low, or is this just normal for guys in their 30s? Is this why they sell viagara or why so many guys my age are getting pills on the streets to help in them in sheets?**
EP1
I went to the Caribbean this weekend to a resort, and there were all kinds of chicas. Most guys around me were legit horny as F and they would hit on anything that would move (25-50). I was more selective, and I wasn’t getting any instant hard-ons. I would talk with the chicas, and the ones I found cute/attractive, I would run game and escalate/flirt/make-out/enjoy the experience.
However it never crosses my mind that I want to bang this chick right now in the pool, but for some people it does. Even when a girl comes close, if I’m not slightly interested, I wouldn’t really bother, like I wouldn’t show interest. Whereas my friends would take anything they can get.
EP2
Went clubbing, met a baddie, and we went to my hotel. I had a hard time to get “going” but then once I did, I lost it quickly when we changed positions and it never came back. I wondered if it was because I was drinking from 10am-2am (nothing else), or if it was because my “sex drive” is dying. Or maybe this is normal for 3x yrs old especially if you are drinking ALL DAY in the sun/night.
EP3
We went clubbing again, and there were girls on the top stage dancing. I felt like it wasn’t a classy thing to stare up and disrespect these chicks because there was a lot of upskirt views, and I don’t think these girls really knew. But all the guys around me were looking and to me that made me wonder if something is wrong with me. Some of them legit looked non-stop, and I was like OK this is either creepy as F / normal / or something is wrong with me why am I not looking up like these guys?
EP4
I was in the pool, and these girls approached. One grabbed my junk and I said no I have somebody special in my life, my boy pulled up and grabbed the girl and started making out with her. I could never because this girl wasn’t attractive at all, but my boy didn’t care, he just wanted to smash. I asked myself why didn’t I say yes, even if I wasn’t into her? Don’t all guys want to smash? Is something wrong with me?
EP5
In 2023, I think I only woke up twice “ready to go” and I was genuinely happy lol