Backstory: My boyfriend and I have only been officially dating for a week or so. We started dating pretty quickly and became bf and gf after a little less than a month. I really like him and he is the nicest guy I’ve ever been with… but I also think I might really like his brother.
(Firstly, there is a detail that makes this situation even messier. My boyfriend and his older brother live together. So the brother will always be around.) The first time I met his brother, I was surprised at how attractive I found him. I felt my heart skip a beat when our eyes locked. I figured this was normal, of course you’re gonna find good looking people attractive. But when my boyfriend said I was his brother’s type, my heart leapt. That didn’t feel normal. Ever since the first interaction, I find myself hoping his brother will look at me or hoping he hears me talking to my boyfriend and finds me interesting. I notice myself having a lot more similarities with the brother than with my boyfriend (decorating style, music taste, personal hobbies, etc.) The brother is artistic, clean cut, and funny. All things I like. The brother also has better personal hygiene than my boyfriend which I have always found extremely attractive. He takes care of himself in a way that’s more extensive than my boyfriend.
I don’t know if it’s because he’s a bit older or if he just possesses qualities my boyfriend doesn’t. Sometimes when I’m laying with my boyfriend, I think about what it would feel like to be laying with his brother. Even when we’re intimate, sometimes I’ll wonder how his brother feels. And I feel sick to my stomach about it. I feel so horrible knowing I think about anyone but him like that. I am definitely attracted to my boyfriend! But my mind still wanders when we do stuff sometimes. The worst part of all of this is that I don’t think about any other men but my boyfriend. EVER. The only other man I think of is… his brother. He’s the ONLY ONE that makes me wish I was single. This isn’t even a purely sexual thing. When I think about why I like the brother, it’s never because of any physical reasons. Which I hate. Sometimes I wish I met him first so this could be easier. I tend to avoid the brother a lot when I’m at their house because I know how I feel about him, so I haven’t interacted much with him since the first meeting.
I care about my boyfriend so much and I don’t ever wanna hurt him. I can see myself being very happy with him. How do I stop liking his brother when I find so much to like about him? (and continue to do so)