So I a few years back I had no friends or anyone I would be close to even. I always felt lonely and unlovable. I was scared that I will always be alone and that it was my fault, that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t even imagine relying on someone, let alone feeling connection of any sort. One day, however, I decided to change that. I was sick and tired of always looking at other people develop friendship or ormther relationships, be friendly with each other while I always stay the same. So after gathering up enough courage I started to talk to people. It took me years to actually open up to people even just a little bit. I also noticed however that I had gotten especially close to one person. We share similar sense of humour and interests. With time it also turned out I was starting to think how to get closer though them. It consumed all my free time. I was always scared that I’ll do something wrong and end up being alone again, or that they don’t like me the way I do. I’m also during the time in life where a lot of things are changing in my life which is not helping at all. I just want to feel at ease and stop overthinking all my interactions and emotions concerning people. I want to get myself together and improve myself, start doing other thing I’m interested in and explore the world without any worries whether I will end up alone or not.