Title might sound ridiculous but please read. My fiancé found porn on my iPad in the camera roll (just pictures) then she asked me if I had been looking at it other times and she knew of one other in the search history. I lied about it all initially then came clean. Now fighting 2 battles:
1) how to move on from the porn/trust I won’t do it again (she knows it used to be something I did when anxious/depressed)
2) how to move on from lying.
If I hadn’t lied initially number one would be much more simple I could just tell her it won’t happen again. Now I can’t because it holds no weight. Need advice please I really don’t want to lose her.
Porn is something we talked about before I told her I used to look at it but stopped and she said good I never want you to look at other girls like that. I agreed and told her I never would. I never did for a few years then had some extremely stressful events and my anxiety took over and I fell into it maybe 5-6 times the past few months. She said it feels like cheating because lusting after someone else and lying about it. It’s hard for me to argue with that point.