Hi everyone,
Me (22M) and a girl (22F) have had this complex relationship for the last half year, good thing to know it was al non monogamous. It started with us having sex a couple times while she was still in a non exclusive thing with a mutual friend called H (iffy I know). Then she ended things with H end only ‘dated’ me. I started to get some feelings but also had a hard situation with an ex contacting me and I considered going back to her but eventually didn’t. (Iffy I know)
When this happened we talked about everything and it all seemed well and healthy.
Then comes the end of summer, we hadn’t seen eachother for a while, and we saw eachother twice before she broke it off. I was left wondering why, since everything had felt really good since we got back from vacation.
End of December she tells me she knows it’s kind of ugly, but she wants to get back with me. We talk about it, I asked her why she was hesitant and she told me she thought it was a bit toxic of her to knock on my door again after she ended things in september. She also told me she got back with H after the thing with me ended, which turned out to not be the ‘whole’ truth.
Anyway, we have been dating for a month now, and she told me two days ago she slept with H again in August before she broke off things with me. At this point she knew sleeping with H would hurt my feelings because we talked about that, but I never said he was ‘off limits’. She didn’t tell me she was sleeping with him again when we broke up in September, resulting in me doubting myself after the breakup instead of knowing the real reason she broke up with me. Which was she wanted to be with H.
She also told me she slept with H one last time AFTER our talk about dating again in December. Obviously i’m very mad and sad about all this. I kinda feel betrayed, especially because I asked her not to sleep with H again when we started dating again (we are still non monogamous, but H was off limits).
I now feel very hurt, and find it really weird she has never told me.
I know everyone here will say I should leave her and find my luck elsewhere, and I somewhat agree, because there have been enough red flags, especially abour communication. But the truth is, I still want to be with her. The last few weeks have been so nice and felt so good. I really really really like her.
I dont know how and if trust will come back over time.
Is there anyone who had a similar experience or that got cheated on and stayed with them after that. Did the relationship heal, and did it ever ‘bloom’ again.
Please tell me. I don’t know what to do.
Tldr:
The girl I like and have been with (on and off) for a while has been dishonest about when and for how long she still was with another guy I know. Now I still want to be with her and hope it all comes good, but I don’t know if it is a good idea. I don’t know if the trust will come back again and would like people to tell me about their experience with this.