TL;DR my boyfriend is being an asshole and I feel trapped because our lives are intertwined.
I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for three years. We have been through a lot of ups and downs, like both of our mental health recoveries, living with toxic crazy roommates, deaths, substance problems etc. So definitely not been all roses. But I love him…when things are good. Mostly they’re good. But when they’re bad, they’re bad. For example, we were fooling around last night, and when I was doing \~things\~ to him he told me I sucked at sex, and that he didn’t wanna have sex with me anyway. I started crying, and then he rolled over and went to sleep (we have separate rooms, and this happened in his room). When I called him out this morning (after crying myself to sleep), he said that he can’t help but be mean to me, that I embarrass him and I’m annoying. He also always points out when I’m bloated (I have endometriosis) and constantly nitpicks me. He also said that I’m trying to be something I’m not, because I’ve started going to the gym (it’s for me, I wanna run a 10k). He also shits on my choice of career, saying it’s shit and he hates it (I’m a nurse). He also refuses to sleep in bed with me, and never tells me anything nice about myself unless I explicitly ask. He blames all of this on when we were 19 and first together, and I had extremely poor mental health and he had to help me through that. I don’t know what to do. I know I should probably leave, but we live together, albeit in separate rooms. I just feel so worn down and like no one will ever treat me better, like there’s something inherently wrong with me.