Ex-GF (26F) and I (25M) broke up several months ago, but still talk. We both want to get back together, but we agreed that we should take time apart to work on ourselves first.
I have been getting my life and career together and that’s really it. She has been doing the same, but also says she is going “date” others. However, if I bring up women that are just friends, she def gets jealous.
Long story short, I’m getting the vibe that she wants to see what’s out there and if she doesn’t like it she’ll return to me, but I won’t allow her to use me as a “settle when all else fails option” like I feel she’s trying to do. I’ve made it clear that I want her and I’m not interested in dating anyone. However, she keeps saying the time isn’t right and that she’s unsure of us due to how I was in the past (granted I wasn’t the best, but I’ve made major changes and even she’s noticed).
If I were to just walk away from all of this and find someone else, would I be in the wrong? I’m sick of her saying:
-she’s unsure of us
-she thinks we need to experience other things first
-she thinks we will be together in our 30s (I’m def not waiting for her)
-all of her “well what if she gets a bf and her asking how would I react”
-her jealousy but yet she doesn’t wanna be with me right now
To top it all off, when we talk as friends, she is always mean, rude, or has an attitude but I’m supposed to accept that because in the past I wasn’t the greatest. If you ask me, I think she simply wants revenge. What should I do here?
TL;DR Ex wants to be back together but not right now. She says she is dating but gets mad if I mention other women. I think she just wants to waste my time here.
5 comments
This is relationship that’s not going to work. She’s made it clear that she sees you as plan B and wants to check out some other guys to see if they are a better fit. If they don’t work out she will will probably come back to you but you will always know that she’s settling for you and she could cheat any time. Break off with her completely, it’s hard I know but for your own peace of mind you need to do it.
You’re Plan B. She’s dating other guys to find someone better. If she doesn’t, she’ll “settle” for you. Don’t be someone’s default plan.
You deserve a partner who chooses you first. Go find her.
Also, STOP TALKING TO YOUR EX.
You do not owe her anything, not your time, not your attention, not even the fuzz from your sock that gets stuck between your toes.
Just block her, what is all the point of all this childish drama? Like seriously what function is it serving?
You’re allowed to make the break permanent. I can understand why you’d want the yo-yoing to stop, the hot and cold to stop, and the she can date but you can’t nonsense to stop. I’m not sure what the past is that she’s holding onto when she doubts you’ve changed, but it might be good to get out from under that judgment as well? You should be allowed to want to be a better person and to try to make that happen for yourself. I don’t know if she’s being vengeful, but I know her treating you poorly is enough on its own.
If it was going to work you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. What’s the point of having to go soul searching so that you’re more compatible with each other in future rather than meeting someone else that you instantly click with?
She is trying to make you jealous for sure and that shows that there’s been no development. Why would you want to waste your time with someone like that? You say she speaks to you like shit as well. Why entertain it?
Just tell her to forget about it man and block her. Move on with your life, why waste it waiting for someone that you’d probably end up breaking up with again further down the line?