Firstly I (M28) want to add some context here. We are a gay couple in a monogamous relationship. His best friend is also gay but is in an open relationship. They met on a hook up app years ago but are now just friends.
Yesterday morning while my husband was at work I asked him if I could use his laptop. He agreed. While I was using it a message from his best friend popped up and honestly I’ve felt uncomfortable with their relationship for a while now so I went through the conversation. Please don’t judge me for that. What I found made me question everything and our entire marriage. His best friend sent him a photo of a man’s D that my husband previously slept with before our marriage. My husbands reaction was “yummy I miss sucking that”. I am infuriated at this point. Then my husband goes on to say “im living vicariously through you” WTF?(his best friend is very promiscuous). Then there was a message of his best friend sending him a basically naked photo of himself with only a small speedo on (you could basically see everything) and my husband was calling him sexy and stuff.
Now before everyone comes at me with “you’re insecure, your jealous etc” Yes fine I may be a little insecure however I made it clear to him before we got married that his relationship with his best friend makes me uncomfortable and I don’t feel comfortable with them talking sexually in nature let alone naked pics of men he used to sleep with. He knew all this about me yet he still chose to propose to me and reassured me he was not going to have those types of conversations.
Anyway, I confronted him last night and he thinks I am crazy for thinking that his conversations with his friend are not normal? Is it normal? Do you guys send naked photos of people your married friends slept with before they were married or am I delusional here? WTF is this world. I’m ready to divorce him if I have to. Just because I am gay doesn’t mean I choose to accept promiscuity in my life from my partner.
TL;DR! I (m28) went on my husband’s (m30) laptop and found an in appropriate conversation between him and his best friend. The conversation was sexual in nature and made me extremely uncomfortable with their “friendship”