Seriously? I keep reading that some dudes are waiting weeks before y’all have sex.
I can’t even get a guy to hang out once. The last guy I was excited about and said he was looking for his wife was mad I said I didn’t want to have sex our first hang out and then he sent “text me when you want to 👉🏻👌🏻”
What the what!??!??
37 comments
Saying no. Your body, your choice.
I think I had sex the first time w my girl on like the 7th date. Not having sex after the first date and getting mad about it is childish af
A good partner would wait until both parties are ready before engaging in sex. I believe that anyone who starts pressuring/guilt-tripping you into having sex, even though you just met, is a major red flag. :/
You meet the guys in the same places you meet the ones that don’t want to wait. You keep searching until you find one that will.
If a guy doesn’t want to wait, I move on.
All you can do is keep looking until you find someone who’s on the same page as you, or is at least respectful and understanding of what you need. Don’t dwell on guys that aren’t into you or ready for a relationship, giving them your time and focus is wasting your own time. As soon as they mention sex and aren’t willing to negotiate or wait for it, stop replying and move on to someone else
U start off n in ur profile make clear that is not something you will do. If they won’t. Wait. Then. They don’t and they can carry on. Somewhere else. When ur words and attitude show this is not going to change it changes how someone may act. Don’t let in every opportunity be more selective.
The kinds of men you are entertaining is the problem. Let them bail and hold out. The REASON why women are waiting to have sex is guys like the one you described.
Let the trash take itself out. Men like this will not put in a lot of effort, so if you make them wait they will likely disappear on their own.
My rule is that I will not go to a man’s house after the first few dates and I don’t invite them over. If a date goes really well they may receive a small kiss when we are parting ways. A man inviting you over usually spells trouble and I would rather not even deal with it.
I do think men that are looking for a serious relationship are fine with waiting. If they’re not fine with it, they were probably just looking for sex.
I operate on my own timeline when it comes to getting physical with men. If they don’t like it then they’ve done me a favor by revealing their true intentions.
I mean I dig sex as much as anyone I know but there’s more to intimacy than sex. Maybe I’m a weird dude? Idk.
It’s all just a numbers game. My girlfriend was starting to second guess if I actually liked her due to how long it was before I mentioned having sex, lol.
Need to keep going until you find someone who is on your wavelength.
It’s really not anything the girls are doing it’s the guy. A decent guy with other stuff going on in his life is more likely to be relaxed about sex. Especially if there is a reason such as past trauma or he sees long term potential.
find someone who is patient and wants to take things slow, not just for you but him as well.
Me and my boyfriend waited a little over a month after making things official. I was ready before he was, but we still waited until he was ready too.
Stop hanging out with fuckwits. Friend of mine kept running into this and I convinced her to try a different dating pool than 2010 era fuckbois (we’re in our 30s) and overnight, her dating life improved.
As a guy who waits, i feel like for lot of women, if i dont push it, they seem to think of me a friend or to lack the spark. So personally i want to feel emotionally comfortable, but i feel pressure and that sucks.
I don’t like _waiting._ I let it happen naturally: whether is three hours or three months.
Perhaps the guys that are not sex crazed are the ones you’re not attracted to
If a guy isn’t listening to your wants and needs while getting to know you than he needs to fuck off
Before you even talk about hanging out or meeting up put your “ no sex on the first date “ stance out there. You gotta vet through the horn dogs if you want to run into the type of guy you want.
I took four years after a tough breakup—the relationship was over ten years. Covid was during that time so two years of it was not real hard because no one was dating much. Before me it was casual and FWB for him after a tough divorce. He said he was always honest with them and I believed it then and still do.
We talked a few weeks then met three times. When we were ready to have sex I told him I don’t have sex with someone who is having sex with others. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just not for me.
He thought a minute and said ok.
I met my bf at the gym & made it clear I wasn’t having sex with him unless we got in a relationship later down the line. We share the same morals & values as well so we both don’t do hookup culture. I think WHERE you meet guys matters too. Your soulmate is probably not on tinder.
It easy you pick the right ones you just don’t get to know who they are, that’s the hard part
You could try phone calling. I think getting physical is kinda a big deal, but at the same time both men and women are pumpin and dumpin really quickly now-a-days. You could just say no too.
Ya it’s interesting how much it varies between people that’s my biggest takeaway from dating is experiences vary so wildly. Some people it’s like they draw people in like crazy other people not as much. Not always a lot of rhyme or reason to it either.
If someone is your next major life partner, and you’re going to be together for a long time with matching libidos, slowly increasing the intensity and physicality over 2-3 weeks is a lot of fun. If you’re going to last, what’s the rush? Tease it out. Build up the anticipation.
I’ve tried it recently and it does make for a nice sexual appetizer.
You don’t want someone who wants to hit it and disappear. Or pretend to want a relationship until he actually finds his ideal. They respect you when you care enough about your body to not get exposed to numerous STI or unplanned pregnancy.
Hold on to your standards as someone that’s been sexually taken advantage of 3 times don’t give in. Make sure you both share core values if you are to get into a relationship
Take it from me when I was a virgin I dated men who were Arabic, Turkish, and Indian and white men most wanted me for a quick sexual fling not long term. I been sexually abused multiple times. I left the dating scene realizing I’ll never find my one. I met two abusers one from okcupid another from tinder. And an abuser offline they are all horrible scum shits the ones I interacted with
You don’t have to do anything to get me to wait. I’m demisexual
By not putting up with the ones who won’t
I think it is just a matter of finding a nice guy? Idk I mean people should respect your timeline. I’ve slept with people on the first date, I’ve waited 3 months before. If you care about the person you want them to be comfortable.
The guys I’ve dated have always on their on accord waited.
Most of my guy friends have said that if they’re serious about you, they’ll intentionally not have sex with the girl early in the relationship, and even avoid night time/late dates to avoid tempotation for that reason.
Just look here:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/1afvyeg/men_does_waiting_to_have_sex_actually_do_anything/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/1afvyeg/men_does_waiting_to_have_sex_actually_do_anything/)
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So if the guy isn’t wanting to wait or putting off sex until later, you know he’s here for the wrong reasons. And if all the guys you’ve talked to aren’t wanting or even willing waiting.. that’s likely either you always picking the same kinda guys, or you giving the wrong impression somehow and/or not portraying yourself in a way that benefits your dating life.
**he was looking for his wife was mad I said I didn’t want to have sex our first hang out**
Yeah, that means that during the date he decided he didn’t want/see you as his wife/GF in the future, but was shooting his shot at becoming a fuckbuddy.
Again, my male friends are sincere in wanting a longterm/committed relationship. Or at least they think/believe they are (their choices in mates whether they know or not generally doesn’t reflect this… i.e. they’ll tell me they want A+B+C in their wife, but they’ll go on dates with women who are clearly X+Y+Z and definitely not A+B+C). But when they realise the girl they’re on a date with isn’t someone they can see/want as a longterm partner, they pivot and will take the FBuddy/ONS if it’s available.
I personally dunno why so many girls don’t seem to notice this is what usually happens. Most guys honestly aren’t lying about wanting a committed relationship.. it’s just that they don’t see it with you, and/or they’re self-sabotaging themselves.
If they don’t want to wait, they never liked you enough anyway. That method weeds put the shitty men
I think people have forgotten that what they actually want is intimacy, closeness with another person. Sex is one way to have that, and a very pleasurable way at that. So much so that people think that it’s the goal and not the means. Everything’s backwards now. Start with sex, then fall in love lol. I am not very fond of what I read about what’s currently going on with dating.
You don’t have to find the technique to get him to wait, the right one will, and the wrong one is not worth your precious energy anyway.
My now boyfriend waited about 7 weeks for me. Although the sexual tension was high. I set my expectation as I only wanted sex in a committed relationship. He was very respectful about it and courted me until I was ready.
I don’t know how they do it. I have a friend who made every guy she dated wait 3 to 6 months. All of them complied, and most the time she ended up dumping them within that window (realizing incompatibility) so they didn’t ever end up doing it. She’s now married, and has been with her husband for almost 15 years. She made him wait at least six months.
She’s a great person, and I love her, but she’s not some knockout where guys were lining up to be with her. But she was still super selective, and ended up with a great husband. I think it’s a secret gift.