Would you have a relationship with a hopeless romantic? Why or why not?

13 comments

  2. Depends entirely on what that means. I’m not some cynical asshole who can’t enjoy romance, but overly cutesy, cringey displays of affection or someone being completely on another planet might drive me crazy. I enjoy rom coms, dates, and some stereotypical aspects of romance (flowers for example – love them). I have dated men who expected me to like certain things because I’m a woman (like jewelry, a journal with our initials on it, or offering to buy me clothing they liked) and I found that off-putting.

  4. No, I want a partner that cares more about me than the idea of love. The idea and expectation of fairy-tale love are not fit for reality. Relationships have struggles and hardships and while I am not opposed to affection and romance, If I find a partner, I do want them to also have a reasonable grown-up side to them that is willing to communicate with me and that is willing to go through the struggles that come up.

  5. My husband is a hopeless romantic, so apparently. He loves making big gestures and does small random romantic gestures pretty regularly.

    There is a very fine line between hopeless romantic and stage 5 clinger. Find that line and don’t cross it. I’ve dated guys who probably thought they were just being romantic but they were TOO MUCH and crossed into clingy which feels suffocating and ended with me breaking up with them.

    My husband is romantic and enjoys making gestures but he also 100% percent respects my independence. He will be the first to admit that he can be a *little* needy of my attention at times but when I make it clear that I need space, he backs off and gives it to me without taking offense.

  6. It really depends on how “hopeless” we’re talking.

    I’m not a fan of grand gestures or shit you’d find in a rom com. It makes me super uncomfortable.

  8. Probably not. I’m all for romance, but I still live in the real world, and I want a partner who is in love with me, as I am with them. The people I know who describe themselves as “hopeless romantics” are all in love with the idea of love, and more about the “grand gestures” and idealizing the person they’re seeing. I can’t live up to that, and what’s more, I don’t want to.

  9. Depends on how that’s defined and how it manifests, but it sounds like a lot of pressure to be honest.

  10. Probably not. I’ve found those types of people that tend to be hopeless romantics tend to have expectations of relationships that are very difficult for me to meet. It’s not inherently a bad thing, it just conflicts heavily with who I am.

    I’m a very independent person and am used to doing my own thing. That combined with adhd that makes it very difficult for me to remember things, usually translates to a lot of things that causes issues. I’m not the person who is going to be texting constantly or is super good at gifts and stuff. I do put effort in and show I care in other ways, but I found that it tends to be a very different love language than the hopeless romantic types tend to look for.

    I have dated people like that in the past, and there’s almost always been issues with either them being too much for me or them misreading my actions as lack of interest.

  11. I consider myself to be a rather romantic person as well. I’d love for a prince (or princess) charming to come along

  12. I don’t mess with anyone who characterizes one of their inherent traits as “hopeless”. Every guy I used to date who called himself that used it as an excuse for weak behavior.

    That’s obviously just my experience and YMMV.

  13. No, I did once and while he was wonderful and incredibly good to me, it just wasn’t the right fit. I’m a very independent, unemotional person and unfortunately I just ended up taking him for granted. My current partner is a lot more on my wavelength, he’s not in-your-face romantic, but his little things make me feel just as loved, and I can do romantic sweet things for him just because I want to, instead of feel obligated to return the effort level of my previous partner.

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