Hello, I 20M got out of a 6 month long relationship about a month ago and throughout this month, I’ve seen there is a pattern with my relationships. Before dating this partner, I was going to the gym, playing volleyball and had a plethora of hobbies that fulfilled my life but I always seem to make time for the partner and give up said hobbies to spend more time with my partner. Throughout the relationship I would travel 6 hour drive multiple times, bring flowers, gifts, make food for them, clean for them, and make sure they are comfortable. Yet in doing all of this, I communicated my love languages are physical touch and quality time. They were withholding physical touch due to trauma and so I kept showing I care and giving them the love languages they want, showing them I really do love them and won’t abuse them. But in giving them all this energy and availability, they ended up losing interest. Point is, I think I was to available and gave “to much”/ love bombed them, to try to get my love languages & needs met.
After breaking up I realized the hobbies that I had in the past are gone, and that spending time with them was my main form of happiness. I see it’s unhealthy for me.
For the future so I don’t repeat the same mistakes, what are some ground rules I should set for myself to not love bomb and put myself in this situation again?