I (28F) met a (25M) who I instantly clicked with. He said he was looking for a relationship but upon our first time meeting, he kept insisting we meet at his house. It felt like he was love bombing me staring at me, being touchy, calling me sweet names and being very romantic by holding hands the minute we met, even going as far as telling me deep things about his abusive dad. It felt genuine but at the same time, my intuition felt so heightened in his home, he spoke very little but the way he did things like slamming doors naturally, the way he fed his pets were weird too… everything he did was just loud, minimal effort and rough. He was persistent for hours on end, rubbing himself against my leg and trying to have sex with me. It felt like he was grooming me through love bombing because he said sweet things but his actions portrayed another. I went over despite my intuition and he lives in filth. He kept trying to have sex with me the whole time and kept saying he wanted to be close to me and that love and sex could correlate together. I’m disappointed to say I eventually gave in and felt dirty after. Has this ever happened to anyone? I haven’t been able to tell anyone in my life because I’m embarrassed, any advice?
4 comments
yeah Do not see this guy again
You want advice hun? Please. PLEASEEEE. Leave. This. Guy. I already see SOOO many red flags with this dude and fear for the kind of relationship you’ll have with him if you go any deeper with him. Please save yourself darling. Just no. N.O. NO! Leave this guy quick while you have the chance!
I’m so sorry you experienced this, from what it sounds like, I think your instincts were dead on. From my limited perspective, you were absolutely sexually assaulted. Any kind of pressure to get you to engage in sex, where they are unrelenting in their pursuit, and you feel like you have to in order to get out of the situation, is sexual assault. I would report him on whatever online dating platform you met him on (unless it was in real life) and block him. And next time a guy pressures you to meet him at his place, alone, walk away. If they aren’t willing to meet in a public place, their intentions likely aren’t in your best interest. And always, always trust your instincts. I would also recommend you have an escape plan with your friends. I’ve done this with my best friend, and have also instructed my teenage daughters to do the same. So all I have to do is text a specific emoji to them and they will call me within a few minutes with some sort of “emergency” so that I can make my escape. It’s saved me a couple of times and is a way to gracefully exit without causing alarm with the man I’m with. Then, after some time has passed (usually within 24 hours) I politely follow up and let them know that I wish them the best but don’t believe we are a good match. I also send my girlfriend not only the contact information and picture of the man I’m meeting with, but also the location of where I am meeting him. Please be safe out there, have an escape plan, and trust your spidey senses. They’re usually alerting you to a threat you may not consciously see.
Awh man that just hurts reading what you went through. I usually don’t even get a chance to go on a date and if I do, usually I always make sure I respect the girl so I at least become as respectful as I can since they already went this far and 9/10 are probably just doing it with no intentions to actually want to progress further. lol Just sucks I guess other people act this way and still get dates. Hopefully one day, you will not have to deal with behavior like that. Good luck.