Been crushing on this girl at my gym for a few months and have been talking to her regularly, like twice a week for like 5-10 minutes at a time (more than a normal gym interaction). I asked her out 2 months ago and she told me no because she “is too busy to date”, told me she worked 3 jobs and barely had anytime for herself. I respected that, I did something similar when I was in college and had almost no free time. But she gave me her phone number and said to keep in touch, we’ve texted back and forth a decent bit. It’s been a while since I’ve liked someone this much so I decided that I’d keep flirting with her, and see if anything happened.
She came in today with her bf (never seen this dude before) to workout and I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never been super successful with women so this isn’t the first time someone has lied to me, but it hurt a lot because I really liked her. The mix of disappointment, anger, and sadness I’m feeling is hard to grasp. I just don’t know how I’m going to face her in the gym or interact with her anymore, or if I should just ignore her.
I understand that people commonly lie about this stuff when someone approaches them, but we already had a pretty good rapport so I’m just confused why she wouldn’t tell me the truth. Just wanted to tell reddit to clear my conscience a bit, mainly posting to vent. Any advice on how to deal with this situation is much appreciated.
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Edit: Just want to add some clarification:
I realize it was a scuffed situation but I was overly hopeful because I was into her
It was definitely her BF or at least someone she was dating, I was on the treadmill (glass window, so there is a reflection) and they were using the machines right behind me. She was touching him in a way that was more than friendly
It’s 100% possible that she was just letting me down easy, and I don’t fault her for that because I’ve seen some guys take rejection very poorly. I just wish she would’ve told the truth considering we’d been chatting for a few weeks before I asked her out
It’s also 100% possible that she met him between then and now
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Mainly just wanted to vent about it, but thank you to everyone who gave me some advice or support. I appreciate it
Final edit: I realize my reaction to this situation and my creation of the problem (creating a fantasy/putting her on a pedestal) is not perfect or entirely healthy. I had some pretty traumatic rejections (got bullied heavily for just liking girls in school) when I was younger and I thought I was over that by now, but I still need to work on that obviously. The negative emotions I have are mainly directed at myself because I want to be a better person, and know I’m better than this or can be at least.