I just got married in November. My new husband’s ex wife wants to be in our lives and it makes me uncomfortable. They do not have any children. They were pretty close when we met and I thought the dynamic was strange. Like she bought him cat litter and other household things. Almost like a mother would do for a college kid. She liked to be relied on for help. She has always been overly nice to me and supportive of our relationship. When we all hung out she only talked about their memories while they were married. She is loud and overbearing and talks to him with disrespect. They work for the same company (both remotely) but other than that have nothing in common at all, besides the past. She is much older than him and they married when he was very young. They never had a good marriage. Toxic. On again off again. They have been divorced for 6 years. We’ve been together for 2 1/2. He thinks I’m just being insecure. I think there’s some weird codependent mommy trauma bond still happening. I asked that I not have to hang out with her anymore. I am allowed to choose who I am friends with and spend my time with and I don’t want to spend it uncomfortable with her. The issue is my husband and I put on live shows at clubs around town and she has used that opportunity to show up and “make” us hang out with her. He sees it as her just being supportive and what’s wrong with that? But I find it manipulative and her again just trying to be close and relevant in his life. I asked that he ask her not to show up to our shows anymore because it makes us uncomfortable (he gets uncomfortable because he sees I’m uncomfortable) and he did but it’s caused a big rift. He thinks I’m being mean to someone just trying to be nice because I’m insecure. I feel like he’s saying he demands I be uncomfortable so his ex wife can be comfortable and he is refusing to cut the innapropriate cord he has with his ex. Any insights or opinions?