We were young but lived together. We had issues, and they were my fault as much as his. I wish I could understand or explain how it got to that point, but something weird happened that he was especially vulnerable I realized after. Yes the other girl/woman was psychopathic and used the nastiest manipulation tactics, and his job would have been in threat after things got to a certain point (she was originally above him, but after he got promoted like crazy thank God away from her.) But there was something more, which I don’t understand, and when we talked about it I went from angry to sad for him. I’ll never be able to put it into words, but something weird happened. I doubled down, even before I knew the weird stuff- I knew if we let that be it it would be the biggest mistake of both of our lives. It would have been, and I would never have moved on. I still believe neither of us would have been happy ever again. We were meant to be. I let myself be vulnerable and I think that sealed it, we went to therapy and came out stronger.
That was so long ago, like 5 plus years, and we married a year and a half ago. It was all wonderful. But he does way too much. I worry that is why. I can’t emphasize enough that he does WAY too much. If someone has to take the trash out I might literally have to fight him to get him to let me do it in some cases (I don’t physically fight him obviously and thus usually don’t do trash), and I never know what to do when he refuses to let me so hard. If he’s asleep or sleepy I can sneak it in but then he’ll thank me 20 times like it’s on him and not a group effort. He encouraged me to follow my dreams and I’m in this crazy good school, with his help and support, also not contributing financially at all right now (although thankfully scholarships/financial aid pay for the school.) But not living, and he makes us live well. I don’t care about that, I care that he supports me and encourages me and I love him. When we got together we were broke and nothing I feel about him has changed a bit.
Everything though, he’s way too nice and it’s not fair. His car is far nicer and probs safer than mine so he will ALWAYS try to sneak my car so I can have his if we are both going out, so that I will have the nicer safer car.
I’m not complaining by any means. I am literally the luckiest person on the planet, to have my soulmate, and that is more than enough. He does to much, and I want him to feel as lucky as I do. I worry he will never let the past go, and will continue this way. He has more than made up for it, and I decided back then that what I wanted was him-not making up for something. Being with him is more than enough to make up for youthful indiscretions.
I don’t know what I should do because I tell him constantly. What can I do?