Hello, thanks for answering and bare with me.
A couple of months ago I met this guy on a night out, the chemistry was almost instant and he asked me for my number. My friends joined his friends and we partied from Saturday night until early Sunday afternoon.
When we departed, him and I have text each other everyday since then. We’ve gotten to know one another more and been on a few dates. I will admit, he was never the best texter, he was a bit dry but again, not everybody is glued to their phones and are amazing texters. Every date we have been on he has initiated. He’s chosen the times, where we will meet, where we go to eat etc. I love this, it showed me that he was somewhat interested. His texts were not the best but our dates were gorgeous! So nice. He was chatty, affectionate and engaging.
Like I said we spoke more or less everyday take away 1 or 2 days when we never spoke because he was “busy with work.” “That old chestnut” I thought, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
On our most recent date, we slept together. The sex was unbelievable. It just sort of happened. I ended up leaving early morning, around 7am. He asked me to stay, but I told him I had to get home for my dog. He asked if I had anybody who could look after him for a short while, I said no.
Anyway I noticed after this night we slept together the communication became…a bit less frequent. He would of course still message me but his replies became super, super long. Again I tried to not let it bother me, but it did linger at the back of my mind, I won’t lie. Anyway, he sent me a message asking how I was and I ignored it for two days. I wasn’t on my phone as much and I became a bit upset with his lack of communication. When I did finally reply, I wanted to “shoot my shot” per-se, and arrange for us to go for something to eat the weekend after next because I wanted to see him. He replied, “yeah of course.”
Anyway, the 25th Jan(Thur) arrives and I message him saying, “Hi lovely, I haven’t heard from you in a while and I hope you’re ok. I hope I can still see you this weekend as I think it’d be nice. We can go for something to eat. I’m going out with the girls later in the night but I’d like to see you first. Let me know x”
He replied, saying yes, and that he was up for it. He asked what time I was going with friends, blah blah. He was going to watch the footy (football/soccer) earlier that day, but once he finished he’d come pick me up and take me for food. Cool.
Friday comes, I don’t hear a word from him. Ok cool. Saturday comes, the day we are supposed to meet and again, no word. Fast forward to 5:30pm I recieve a message from him:
“Hi my love, I’m going to give tonight a miss. I’m fucked(he means tired) been at the football all day and I’m going to go home and eat. We can arrange for another time. Have a good night and stay safe x.”
I’m not going to lie, I was a bit devestated. He hasn’t cancelled on me yet, but things happen. At least he was honest and didn’t give me a bullsh*t excuse. He was honest. I never replied to that message. I just read it. I didn’t know what to say, really. I haven’t heard a single thing from him since then, that was 9 days ago.
When I tell my friends the story, their responses are split: 50% of them say I should have replied, he’s clearly into me and probably feels a bit embarrassed I’ve ignored his message so hasn’t messaged me further. I need to just maybe send another message and see where he is at.
But the other 50% say no, I shouldn’t message him. Why should I re-arrange a date that he cancelled? If he really wanted to see me he would have messaged me by now offering a new date or something…
I feel a bit embarrassed if I’m honest. The first week of us speaking he asked me about relationship. He said: “I’ve not long came out of a LTR and a relationship is the last thing on my mind, however I’m open minded and I’d still like to speak to you if this is ok.” This suited me, I wasn’t looking for a relationship either, but again I didn’t want to say “never”
I initiated us having sex and he kept on asking if I was “sure” he hasn’t slept with anybody since his ex, etc but I really wanted to. It just felt…normal.
Now this. What am I to do? Just accept my fate and move on, or message him?
Thank you a lot.