I was bullied over something i don’t do because whenever it happened i’d hyperventilate (which is an issue i have similar to ppl with asthma cause it happens when either i get exposed to a bad smell or my gerd flaring up). This made me believe it was me that was causing it and my face would turn red.
except it’s not anxiety anymore and i learned to deal with it- but they don’t care.
My fault is that I didn’t use to look for whom is doing it and whose saying “capkab10 did it!” Which i recognize is the worst thing you could do in a bullying situation
Anyways, i still get blamed for when the class stinks or someone, uhh farts
I hate being the black sheep. I now stay in the front so they don’t get to distract me much but i am still very angry. The problem is that it’s a large room and they say it loud enough to be heard but quiet enough for me to not identify them.
My biggest issue really is at those who laugh and LOOK at me. I am too slow at reacting so i don’t turn around and look at them and when i realize what happens its kinda too late for me to respond; or at least that what i think.
Also there’s something about me- it’s hard to balance between putting boundaries and knowing when to play dumb or not interact (for social benefits only as I couldn’t careless about their opinion)
And secondly am i overreacting? I feel it’s normal to be angry at someone who oversteps your boundaries but it’s not like i can shut their mouth- and they are passive aggressive so facing them isn’t really gonna yield much. The only solution i can think of is their strategy- exposing them. Cause thats what they try to do to me.
I used to think that caring so much will show that i an effected by them but i kinda already am. Will that expose me to more bullying or stop it?