Why do I feel so unwelcome and like no one wants to talk to me ?
I consider myself sort of a nice person, if someone doesn’t angry me which almost never happens and if it does, it usually is with people i know or are close with, since i know them well(and long) enough to judge. I always used to be the one initiating conversations or making new students feel welcome and show them around in my middle school. I never really understood why no one ever wanted to talk to me. Conversations often felt one sided as if no one was ever interested in getting to know me. My first thought that came to my mind is that I might just be way too ugly for anyone to want to talk to me. I was usually the “friend” that people would invite to go on a walk just to flex with how pretty they are, always asking questions.. “who’s prettier, me or her” and such. I had an all girls school(unintentionally) and i always got picked on about my looks and i really tried working on myself. Since i joined highschool, an all boys school for a change (again, unintentionally) and it’s honestly a hellhole. Like I don;t know what i’m doing wrong, i try to be nice to the boys, i’m the only girl in my class and i feel so unwelcome. People usually throw stuff at me in class, embarrass me publicly. Whenever I strike a word or two with someone they’re automatically my boyf, and they’re really making me eat it up like nothing. It’s really making me hate the person they’re shipping me with aswell, considering the s\*\* tips they always give the boy, it’s making me feel like throwing up, and they’ve managed to make the teachers think we’re a cpl aswell, and they support them and i feel like the worst shit ever, because no one believes my opinion and i feel as if i was back in the time when women had absolutely no right. No one is listening to me, no one wants to talk to me, even if i start initiating conversations with absolutely anyone they reply with short answers no matter how many questions i ask and never ask anything back nor say hello when they see me like i do. I honestly don’t know what i’m doing wrong but it feels like the whole school is against me. From time to time i stand up for myself when I have an argument but that’s like 10%. Like i really dont know what im doing wrong. Is it just because im too ugly for someone to come talk to me, is it my lack of social skills, lack of kindness, what else am i supposed to do? I thought i might have more people to talk to, since they’re studying the same thing i am, (IT, programming) and i wouldn’t have to deal wiht that girl drama like before but my expectations were crushed the moment i walked in, i dont know what else to do for someone to come up to me and start a conversation or just anything at all.