My boyfriend and I decided to try BDSM. So a major factor is using a safe word. My problem is I never use it, but I comment later if something he did hurt. Of course he’s adamant I use the safe word. However I unconsciously(?) just deal with pain from others that way. Not due to abuse, just stuff that’s gonna hurt. I.e getting hair done, tattoos, cavities/tooth removal. It needs to happen, so me complaining isn’t gonna make it hurt less.
Now he doesn’t wanna try again, until I start using the safe word. But I don’t mind the pain.