I went on Date #1 and really liked “Jane.” She’s funny, clever, we have a ton of similar interests. We texted a lot before and after and it always made me smile. We have very similar texting styles and the convos were great!
Date #2 happened and I realized I had zero physical attraction to Jane. I looked at photos and thought she was very pretty, but I didn’t want to kiss her, or even hold her hand. I’ve had several long term relationships, and the spark was just not there with Jane.
But she brought me a really special, thoughtful, handmade gift on Date #2. And tried to cuddle me at the dinner table. And went for a kiss in the parking lot, but bailed when she saw my face. :/
I sent her a text a day or two after Date #2 that thanked her for her time, said she’d been absolutely lovely but I didn’t want to date any more. I ran it by a friend to make sure it was kind and not over the top. I did not say anything about attraction or lack thereof. Jane sent a quick, short, perfectly polite reply. We haven’t spoken since.
It’s two months later and I’d really like to text her, but as a friend. I’m arguing with myself that:
a) there’s no harm in asking, she’s an adult and can say no if that’s what she wants, and do I really think I’m such hot stuff that she’s been pining for two months? After two measly dates? No, I do not.
But…b) maybe it’s shitty to reach out again, especially just because I’m lonely and could use a friend. Maybe it’s kindest to leave her alone.