I (37F) and partner 34F, have been together 2.5 years. We had sex a lot the first 3-6 months of our relationship. I always took the “top” role because I was very eager in the beginning and in lust. Fast forward to this present day and this has created a ton of problems. I’ve communicated I no longer have the desire for more than once per month any more. I also communicated that I hate that she’s always the one to receive and if she does offer to give, it’s after I’ve given for some time and I’m no longer in the mood. I have discussed that she may be a pillow princess which is very offensive to her. I just really dislike sex with her and feel we are extremely incompatible sexually. I don’t like constantly “topping”. I usually like being submissive but I have to be dominant every time. We have talked about our different wants and desires and I share I don’t really like the roles that were established but nothing changes.
We get along super well outside of our sexual relationship. We are best friends. Share the same values, goals, and make each other laugh all the time.
We opened our relationship due to my desire for her to seek her sexual needs elsewhere. I told her I’m really not into what she is but I still want her fulfilled so she agreed to open it. Here’s the thing: she still pressures me for sex a lot. Like a lot. If I cave I will wear the strap on and get her off then we stop after she has an orgasm and I feel relieved to be done with it. I’m at a loss. I feel like everybody will say break up over sex but the relationship is very fulfilling for both of us outside of the sexual issue and we are happy. I’m tired of feeling pressure to have sex I hate, but I know she has sexual needs too. Is there a compromise somewhere in this? Do I beg her to go PP with another woman asap?