Marked as nsfw due to the website.
Back in 2021 I caught my fiancé paying for only fans content and personal Snapchat content. I was more so upset over the personal content he was paying for especially since he was texting one of the girls outside of Snapchat.
We talked about it and I told him how I felt about this whole situation. That I was okay with him watching porn but I was not okay with him paying for personal videos and photos, especially since we were (and still are) struggling financially. I told him that paying for personal content and even talking to the person making the content felt like cheating to me since it was personal and not just a generic video on things like Pornhub.
He apologized and promised to delete his account and never pay for personal content again. This was early 2021 when all this happened.
Skip forward to tonight. He had his phone open and was letting me go through it to help him cancel a subscription he didn’t want anymore. I found some unusual charges on his c@sh app. So I asked him about it and he got defensive so I decided to type in ‘only’ on his transactions and discovered he made several purchases on onlyfans as late as December 2022 that I’m aware of (some transactions were labeled as ‘of’ instead of ‘onlyfans’ so it is possible he’s paid later than December but I didn’t see it). He told me that he didn’t know how that got there and that onlyfans just charges sometimes without you using the site, blah blah.
Im not stupid. You could clearly see that he was adding money to his c@shapp to make these only fans purchases. If it were just accidental charges then there wouldn’t be 2 declined charges in the same amount then an ‘add cash’ transaction with enough money to cover the purchase and a complete purchase. He made probably $500 in onlyfans purchases in 2022. They weren’t cheap purchases either.
He continued to lie and make excuses for these too even after I told him that I’m not stupid, that I know how this works and that his lies aren’t working.
He’s offering to give me money that he doesn’t even have right now to make up for this. Like, bro, money isn’t going to make me stop feeling like you cheated on me. I don’t care about the money. I care about the fact you lied to me about deleting your account, that you always told me you didn’t have money for diapers and wipes and other stuff but you had money for onlyfans and weed.
I want to make our relationship work. We’re going on 8yrs together, we have 2 living children together, one of which is disabled and the other is suspected to be autistic and there’s concerns she’s also disabled.
What should I/we do to make our relationship work out? He did say he doesn’t want to break up. He claims he loves me (recently I’ve been feeling very unloved by him, just the way he talks and treats me doesn’t seem loving. Like how I was excited to receive something I’ve been wanting for awhile then once I opened it I expressed that I was disappointed in it since it didn’t live up to expectations and he replied ‘good’ like he was GLAD I was disappointed)
He doesn’t have insurance and I’m on Medicaid and it doesn’t cover couples therapy so that isn’t an option for us right now. Is our relationship even fixable at this point?