At the moment I spend most of know time working, and so every now and then when I hang out with other people I feel like I don’t really have anything to say. I do have hobbies I like to spend time on (dancing, language learning) but I don’t feel like those are things I can really say much about either. I’ve just never found talking about myself to be very easy.
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If you both share interest in current events talk about that. If you share similar interests take about that. It’s important to note that socializing takes effort, to get to know things that interest them, but at the same time interests you too. If you find it extremely hard to socialize with some certain people, perhaps they aren’t socially compatible with you and that is fine.
But if you really want to keep socializing with them, find out their interests: tv shows, artists, music, hobbies, etc and try them out yourself and talk about that haha. It also helps if you all share a same social circle so you guys can all hang out collectively! Watch shows together, movies, listen to music, etc and talk about that!
Good luck OP!
Most people love talking about themselves and their interests. Otherwise, find things from the things around you that you notice or feel curious about, or do an activity together when you hang out to take the pressure off like playing a board game or something.
To be fair, most other people don’t necessarily have that fascinating of a life either, but resort to talking about themselves or superficial subjects (i.e. gossip, appearances). It really depends on the group and what they’re into.
If the people you’re thinking of are hip to current events, pop culture, or some thread of commonality, you could potentially discuss that. Anything local of interest occurring? Some fun anecdote you read/heard/watched? You could try extending an olive branch by taking up a hobby or watching a show that the group is interested in, so you have more commonality to draw from.
People love talking about themselves, and you could asks about a subject you know they like, and get to know them by listening to them tell you about what interests them.
It’s ok too if you just can’t connect with some people, as long as there’s a few people who seem open to you. If you start something new, like say, join a gym, club, or group, by actually making yourself more interesting, you will both be more confident and have more to say.
Nothing beats “finding your tribe”, but if you’re socially awkward or otherwise eccentric relative to your local folk, you will have to rely on compromise and finding middle ground with others. Good luck to you, many are in the same boat as yourself.
You might need to get out & about more. That’s the only way I was able to generate things to talk about.
I usually like to talk about what I learned & what fascinated me about the experiences I did.
Be fully engaged with who you talk to (no thinking about other things, no trying to escape the moment) and ask them questions, ask them even basic stuff like whats your favorite movie or what do you do on your free time, those type of questions are fundamental to becoming friends and getting to know someone, as generic as it may seem. Eventually you will become more comfortable and less nervous with them and you can start being yourself around them. The beginning of getting to know someone is the hardest part, because we are afraid of what we don’t know.
Trying to force conversations doesn’t work either, thats why its important to get to know people with basic questions first, once you get a basic idea of then you can talk about your shared interests, and ways you can relate to each other, the longer you interact the deeper the connection will get, but it takes time.
I struggle with this too very badly, and i recently been trying to talk with people at work that i usually just avoid all together. Right now im breaking out of my shell by initiating conversations and trying to make some connections, and starting out its very scary because you definitely will fail many conversations if you arent socially developed (me). But Ive now realized its about getting better each time and learning what works and what doesnt, and also about not getting so mad or defeated from failing.
maybe just focus on doing things with the people you’re hanging out with instead of talking .That way you can talk about what you’re doing together.
Read nonfiction. Or audiobooks
Lmao following 😭
Lots of comments mention how people love talking about themselves (when you talk abt yourself, dopamine gets released in the brain)
It helps asking people questions about themselves and then trying to find commonalities there
If anything, you’ll leave a good impression because not many people reciprocate questioning about the person they’re talking to haha
Focus on attentive listening and asking genuine questions
If you don’t have a life, you should be more focused on getting one than what you’re gonna say to make up for it.
Reading helps a lot
i think you said lots of interesting truths in this post, and i find that a lot of people will find this relatable af too!
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